question for those with S/A who are parents

[Section_31]

hey everyone,

Having a bit of a debate with my father in law and wanted an ouside perspective.

My wife and I have talked for a long time about having kids, but we havnt decided for sure whether or not we will. If we do it wont be for a very long time because we just have too many financial things to work out first and school to finish.

Anyways, one of the things weve been discussing, is whether or not to get our child the help they may need to deal with S/A, should he or she begin displaying simliar behaviours we used to have when we were much younger. We both think our kids have a good chance of inheriting S/A, as my monthers family has a long history of mental illness, and my wife's mom's side has had S/A going back at least 4 generations, so we feel its pretty much garaunteed.

I personally feel that, if our little one is having the same problems i had growing up, that as a parent it would be irresponsible for me to let them keep going without getting them some sort of handle on their mental condition. If my father had been more understanding, more supportive, and tried to get me the medication im on now, maybe some counselling, ect, i know i could have done so much more earlier in life. My hunny and I both think this is a good thing for our kids, should we have them.

Her dad, on the other hand, says that by doing so we wont be doing them any favours, and that they will be "labelled" by teachers, ect. I dont understand where thats coming from as doctors around here are very confidential, and its not like teachers and others would need to be aware of it, if theyre only on medication or whatever....this is of course the medication im on may help them. im aware it very well might not, im just using it as an example.

I know theres no real test to screen for whether or not someone has S/A, but just trying to think for the future of my kids. Id rather they dont have to put up with unnecesary misery if it can be avoided.

Jeez, i love them so much and they arent even here yet......yea i think i want to be a dad someday, LOL

 

[Agent_Violet]

My son is 9 and displays SA characteristics. Always has...even as a young infant.

He is in therapy and I have never had anything but support from the majority of his teachers. You'll have the occasional bad apple in the teacher bunch and they'll label him and treat him like a germ but MOST of them treat him with greater care than they would if they didn't know about his issues.

I think it would be incredibly irresponsible to bring a child into the world without planning on giving them a helping hand with any issues they may develop. that's all part of being a parent...giving your child every opportunity to succeed and develop to the fullest capacity. to not put him/her in therapy bc of what others will think tells me the parent isn't ready to be a parent at all.

being a truly great parent takes guts and strength. the parent who lets their child flail around to navigate mental illness without professional help is abusive in my opinion. no child should have to suffer through these things in the dark.

 

[Section_31]

Thanks Violet . I really appreciate your insight. Unfortunately i dont know any other parents who are S/A so i have no one to ask IRL.

I definately feel exactly as you do.

 

[Agent_Violet]

glad i could help

i don't know any parents w the SA issue either..but I do know a lot of parents with troubled boys. another thing you'll have to be a watchdog about is the feminization of our boys in the school system. it's ridiculous. they want our boys to learn like girls, behave like girls, etc. it's making for frustrated,ill behaved,angry boys who aren't getting all they should be out of our education system.

that's a whole different can of worms though