PUBLIC LONER

[Lonelyheart]

Is it just me or does everybody with social anxiety disorder get embarrassed when seen in public alone?

I don't have any friends so whenever I go places I'm alone. I always feel like everybody is looking at me and thinking.... why is that guy alone? what's wrong with him? What a loser.

Situations where this is especially problematic are when eating in the college cafeteria, when going to the mall, when going to a movie, when going to a restaurant, and when walking on a public street.

I often avoid going out because I hate being seen in public alone. When I go places alone, I usually do see a few other loners; however, they're usually much older than I am. I'm only 24.

Can you-all relate to what I'm going through or is this a unique phenomenon?

 

[maggie]

Lonelyheart..i can totally relate..i don't like going out in public by myself either..makes me feel awkward. I usually save my errands for a day when i'm not feeling too badly..or i drag someone else with me who also has stuff to do so i don't feel so alone...and yeah, i feel the same way about restaurants and cafeterias..i could never go in and order and eat by myself 8O

 

[Thelema]

I feel the same way. Only time I don't go somewhere with my mom I'm with one of my friends.

 

[Warlock]

I don't think I've ever had to walk down a street alone that wasn't in my neighborhood, but when I do walk around the neighborhood, I avoid people. For example, if someone is walking torwards me on the side of the street I am on, I cross the street or make a turn so I don't have to go by them. If someone is walking slowly up ahead of me, I do the same thing. I don't go to the movies or to restaurants alone. I'm either going with someone in my family or not going at all. I have stopped eating in the cafeteria at school because I had nobody to sit with and didn't want to sit near anyone I didn't know or sit in an open spot where people could see that I was alone. I never go to the mall.

I feel bad walking the halls at my school alone so I go to the class I have after lunch and stay there until class starts.

I don't do these things because of social phobia (I don't have social phobia). I do them because I fear embarrassment.

 

[Waybuloo]

Is it just me or does everybody with social anxiety disorder get embarrassed when seen in public alone?

I don't have any friends so whenever I go places I'm alone. I always feel like everybody is looking at me and thinking.... why is that guy alone? what's wrong with him? What a loser.

Situations where this is especially problematic are when eating in the college cafeteria, when going to the mall, when going to a movie, when going to a restaurant, and when walking on a public street.

I often avoid going out because I hate being seen in public alone. When I go places alone, I usually do see a few other loners; however, they're usually much older than I am. I'm only 24.

Can you-all relate to what I'm going through or is this a unique phenomenon?

You are not letting this self consciousness get in your life by avoiding it it seems which is a really really good thing I can relate to what you feel since i was very small. I used to feel as self conscious as you do when giving a speech, when goin to places like the shopping centre. Now at 21 I'm much better. Although i do feel it in cinemas and in shopping centres on Saturday for instance, walking down the street is not such a big problem. I pride in my self independence

And i don't knwo about where you live, but here there are lots of ppl on the street alone, from like age 18 upwards so its not just older people. I mean people are going about their lives and they can't be accompanied all the time.

 

[TAMPA-BAY]

I can relate to what you feel. I wanted to post my photos in the post your picture tread but I keep running into the simple fact that I am not in any of my photos because Iam the one holding the camera.

I feel really silly when I try to take a pic of my self. I usually do it when I think no one is watching. I sometimes try to ask total strangers to take the pic of my self for me but when you have SA It's dam near impossable to do it that way. Luckly I figured out how to use those self timers.

Like the previousl replys mentioned; we see others by them selves and we dont think about it. So why do we think others notice when we SA sufffers are by our selves?

 

[Y]

What makes me most emberassed is the thought "They think im shy", "They know im a loner", "She just looked at me, she thinks im wierd".

So i can totally relate to what you say, i hate being alone in public. Im ashamed of being alone and im more ashamed of being ashamed, lol so on...

 

[IceLad]

I seem to do everything alone, and it really gets on my nerves. :evil: Not to mention that its pretty embarrassing, and you often wonder what people think when they always see you alone.

I find doing certain activities e.g. shopping, much more comfortable than others e.g. going to the cinema, as with the former, I think its more social acceptable to be doing them on your own. In contrast, if you see someone alone in the cinema, you start making negative assumptions- 'no friends', 'what a sad person'.

 

[cloaked]

I'm always alone. I avoid situations like cafeterias especially. Those are just the worst. When I was in high school most people were excited about lunch, but me, deep inside, I cringed at the thought of it. I remember purposely leaving the front of the lunch line to go to the back so I had to wait in line longer thus wasting the sitting alone time. But oh my god, sitting alone is so embarassing. I just feel like everyone is thinking about how much of a loser I am. Most of the time, I waited in the line for a while, sat at a round table by myself, ate as fast as possible, then retreated to the band room (I was in band) and hid in a practice room (a tiny room that traps the sound inside) that was the perfect hiding spot. I would just sit and there and beat on the floor with my drumsitcks. I was and still am a lonely loser.

 

[Predacon]

I can't say I have a big problem being out in public by myself, the only place I might get a bit selfconscious would be a restaurant but seeing as I don't really like going out for dinner its not a problem.

 

[yay]

I used to have same problem... but you shouldn't really care what others think. And if they look at you in a weird way, you should do it back at them! LOL Becase PLENTLY of ppl go out alone! Personally, i like enjoy being alone, i find it peaceful. lol so don't worry, It's not you're the only person going out alone in public.

 

[savage_beagle]

just do it.

Over the years, i have gotten used to doing things solo. Routine things like grocery shopping, paying a bill in person, a doctors visit, or popping in a restaraunt for a quick bite for lunch are fine to do by yourself, i dont need somebody to hold my hand . There are times when it gets kinda lonely, where its nice to have someone to share a laugh at the movies or go for a walk in a park, along the beach or just some event where there is a crowd and it feels good to socialize with a friend . I never think people are staring at me and quietly snickering that ''lookit the loser all by himself''. Some of those that posted here should re-examine the way they view themselves and others, because most people are mostly way to self absorbed in whatever they are doing to pay attention . Say you are by yourself in a movie theater waiting for the lights to dim so the movie can begin , and you start to look around and make eye contact with others who are with other people. In the blink of an eye, your distorted mind has accepted the false belief that people are all living great, wonderful lives, and they noticed that you are a mental case loner. All that type of thinking does is make you feel bad about yourself , lowers your self esteem even further and causes you to not enjoy your time watching a movie that you were looking forward to seeing. ALL that drama....in your head, over nothing. It is better to live in the moment and just enjoy whatever it is you are doing, without giving thought of how others might be judging you.

 

[Waybuloo]

Sometimes, or most of the time when i get stares i tend to think it's about the way i look, then secondary thought hits - they think i'm a loner.

 

[Katjelique]

I actually have a harder time being with people in public, my sister though can't go someplace alone without thinking people are watching her. Although I don't like to eat in public by myself unless I am just at a cafe or something.

 

[Waybuloo]

I actually have a harder time being with people in public, my sister though can't go someplace alone without thinking people are watching her. Although I don't like to eat in public by myself unless I am just at a cafe or something.

For me it depends on who i am with in public. If it is a group of people with only a few whom i know then i'd rather be alone. I used to hate eating alone but now it's no problem i made myself do it and am now used to it, cause i see lots of people eat alone, even on campus. I like to people watch but when you're alone maybe that looks creepy hehehe

 

[shy_girl]

bye

 

[mystic_silence]

I see that most of you don't like to be seen alone in public places. It's different with me. I often go to public places alone just to be seen by people that i'm by myself. I want people to think that I'm a loner- bacause that's who I am, and proud of it. Being in public alone tells people that I dont rely on others and don't need other people to move on with my life.

I just dont see how you people could find being alone in public embarrassing, I think that it makes you look cool when youre alone in public (especially when youre wearing black colors). I wear lotta black colors because it represents me as a black sheep of society. I just learned not to mind what people think of me. I'm a lone because I choose to be alone.