IdeallyFearless
Member
hey everyone,
I realize that in my last post I did not really share anything about myself. I am still getting used to the forum of message boards- they seem a bit confusing to me. I myself suffer with anxiety of different forms. it has shifted from one form or another since I was 14 or so, and has usually focused around some aspect of my physical body. when i am the center of attention, i feel like i shrivel up inside myself and just cease to function like a normal human. I don't blush, but i do disappear. i have the hardest time ever with intimacy and have tried many things to feel more empowered to reduce the anxiety. I am 28 and only now am starting to drive on the highway because the anxiety went into driving as well for me, it just always finds somewhere to go, and it is ridiculously frustrating because I would just like to feel normal rather than constantly a few steps different from everyone else.
Because i have had so many kinds of anxiety and issues like that, i chose to study psychology to try and make myself less crazy. one of the things i'm currently doing is looking at the phenomenon of blushing and other problems people are trying to work with that relate on some level to anxiety (for some people, at least) and I want to share one thing I found that might be useful to some people. it's called progressive relaxation and is a really basic form of meditation.
The thing is, I'm realizing that a lot of my issues at least have to do with the parasympathetic nervous system- your sympathetic nervous system is the fight-or-flight one, and the parasympathetic is the rest-and-digest. Like, if you were in the woods and heard a wild animal approaching, your sympathetic system would activate. that's what happens to me when I walk in a room full of people or get ont he highway- i feel scared, fight or flight.
but, the parasympathetic system is the opposite-the antidote, really. That one is activated when you feel relaxed, like after a massage (if you are okay with massages- personally I freak out a little) or with some candles and a good meal.
So progressive relaxation helps you strengthen that parasympathetic system, and it's really easy to do, so i want to share it so you guys can try it if you want an easy form of meditation that might help you feel more in control. WHen i get on the highway now, (which I did for the first time in YEARS yesterday) i felt anxiety rising up in me, coming into my neck and getting ready to scramble my mind, but i took a deep breath and CHOSE not to let it take control, and it worked!! I was able to drive and still feel the realistic fear, but not feel the overwhelming anxiety that makes my eyes fuzzy and my heart race.
In progressive relaxation, all you need to do is sit in a chair or on a couch, and have about five minutes of peace and quiet. You could take as long as an hour if you wanted to though, the longer the better. for me personally its easier to start in five minute chunks.
you just close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths, make sure to feel the breath coming in and out. then clench your hands for a few seconds, as hard as you can, building up to that strength gradually. then release them slowly, feeling the blood rush back in.
Now do it to your forearms, clenching them slowly, then releasing. feel the blood come back. take another breath relaxed, feel the breath come in your whole body.
then clench your bicep arm area. same thing, clench it for a moment, feel that, release gently, feel that. keep doing this same pattern with your neck, head, chest, torso, pelvis, thighs, calves, feet. each time feeling yourself take a breath in between.
this has been incredibly helpful to me, i also use lots of other forms of meditation as well, but this one really helps to relax the muscles and make me feel "grounded" and the more grounded I feel, the less those anxieties get in the way of my life. They are still there though, don't get me wrong, my heart starts pounding hours before i have to drive (like now) or feel like a social situation is going to be happening, but still, i have the choice to take that deep breath and be the boss of that feeling for a moment at a time.
It's the kind of thing that you really should do daily or every other day to feel the effects- but you will feel SOMETHING the first time, I'm pretty sure. At least I do, I just feel much more grounded, like I said. Anyway, sorry for not introducing myself last time, and I hope this technique can be helpful for someone!
I realize that in my last post I did not really share anything about myself. I am still getting used to the forum of message boards- they seem a bit confusing to me. I myself suffer with anxiety of different forms. it has shifted from one form or another since I was 14 or so, and has usually focused around some aspect of my physical body. when i am the center of attention, i feel like i shrivel up inside myself and just cease to function like a normal human. I don't blush, but i do disappear. i have the hardest time ever with intimacy and have tried many things to feel more empowered to reduce the anxiety. I am 28 and only now am starting to drive on the highway because the anxiety went into driving as well for me, it just always finds somewhere to go, and it is ridiculously frustrating because I would just like to feel normal rather than constantly a few steps different from everyone else.
Because i have had so many kinds of anxiety and issues like that, i chose to study psychology to try and make myself less crazy. one of the things i'm currently doing is looking at the phenomenon of blushing and other problems people are trying to work with that relate on some level to anxiety (for some people, at least) and I want to share one thing I found that might be useful to some people. it's called progressive relaxation and is a really basic form of meditation.
The thing is, I'm realizing that a lot of my issues at least have to do with the parasympathetic nervous system- your sympathetic nervous system is the fight-or-flight one, and the parasympathetic is the rest-and-digest. Like, if you were in the woods and heard a wild animal approaching, your sympathetic system would activate. that's what happens to me when I walk in a room full of people or get ont he highway- i feel scared, fight or flight.
but, the parasympathetic system is the opposite-the antidote, really. That one is activated when you feel relaxed, like after a massage (if you are okay with massages- personally I freak out a little) or with some candles and a good meal.
So progressive relaxation helps you strengthen that parasympathetic system, and it's really easy to do, so i want to share it so you guys can try it if you want an easy form of meditation that might help you feel more in control. WHen i get on the highway now, (which I did for the first time in YEARS yesterday) i felt anxiety rising up in me, coming into my neck and getting ready to scramble my mind, but i took a deep breath and CHOSE not to let it take control, and it worked!! I was able to drive and still feel the realistic fear, but not feel the overwhelming anxiety that makes my eyes fuzzy and my heart race.
In progressive relaxation, all you need to do is sit in a chair or on a couch, and have about five minutes of peace and quiet. You could take as long as an hour if you wanted to though, the longer the better. for me personally its easier to start in five minute chunks.
you just close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths, make sure to feel the breath coming in and out. then clench your hands for a few seconds, as hard as you can, building up to that strength gradually. then release them slowly, feeling the blood rush back in.
Now do it to your forearms, clenching them slowly, then releasing. feel the blood come back. take another breath relaxed, feel the breath come in your whole body.
then clench your bicep arm area. same thing, clench it for a moment, feel that, release gently, feel that. keep doing this same pattern with your neck, head, chest, torso, pelvis, thighs, calves, feet. each time feeling yourself take a breath in between.
this has been incredibly helpful to me, i also use lots of other forms of meditation as well, but this one really helps to relax the muscles and make me feel "grounded" and the more grounded I feel, the less those anxieties get in the way of my life. They are still there though, don't get me wrong, my heart starts pounding hours before i have to drive (like now) or feel like a social situation is going to be happening, but still, i have the choice to take that deep breath and be the boss of that feeling for a moment at a time.
It's the kind of thing that you really should do daily or every other day to feel the effects- but you will feel SOMETHING the first time, I'm pretty sure. At least I do, I just feel much more grounded, like I said. Anyway, sorry for not introducing myself last time, and I hope this technique can be helpful for someone!
