Steppen-Wolf
Well-known member
About 18 months I was a total mess, lots of anxiety, several panic attacks, constantly shaking and I had the independence of 6 year old at age 21.
Now many things have changed, I live alone and far from my parents, I've learned a lot about how to deal with people and I've overcomed many, many fears. I'm still a mess in many ways, but at least there has been real progress.
The funny things is that now I'm even more lonely than a couple of years back. I used to have a ton of online friends and even had a couple of online girlfriends (silly, I know, but at least the attention and limited emotional support was nice), but now I feel really alone. I still have a couple of online friends, but they are people that I've known for so long (5 years+) that at this point there's nothing I want to talk about with them. I know everything about them and viceversa.
While my "real life" social skills have improved a lot, I'm still a long time away from making actual and real friends.
So now I'm stuck here with this huge emotional void and all that progress feels meaning less at times >.>.
I know I will still wake up tomorrow and continue to try to improve in some manner, but I just wish I could start seeing real emotional benefits. It's too big of a task to take on if you're constantly feeling lonely and demotivated.
Now many things have changed, I live alone and far from my parents, I've learned a lot about how to deal with people and I've overcomed many, many fears. I'm still a mess in many ways, but at least there has been real progress.
The funny things is that now I'm even more lonely than a couple of years back. I used to have a ton of online friends and even had a couple of online girlfriends (silly, I know, but at least the attention and limited emotional support was nice), but now I feel really alone. I still have a couple of online friends, but they are people that I've known for so long (5 years+) that at this point there's nothing I want to talk about with them. I know everything about them and viceversa.
While my "real life" social skills have improved a lot, I'm still a long time away from making actual and real friends.
So now I'm stuck here with this huge emotional void and all that progress feels meaning less at times >.>.
I know I will still wake up tomorrow and continue to try to improve in some manner, but I just wish I could start seeing real emotional benefits. It's too big of a task to take on if you're constantly feeling lonely and demotivated.
