Quietguy11
Well-known member
I think my mind avoids social interactions just as much as I avoid them physically. It's like I'm afraid to be talked to, because I will freeze up and not know how to reply accordingly. I will feel slow or something, and it will make me very self-conscious. I wish I had a better way of explaining it. There's like an invisible wall that barricades my mind, making it impossible for fluent exchange of communication. It has been the underlying reason why I have been such a loner my whole life. I remember girls taking interest in me in high school, but because I was never able to communicate my thoughts and feelings openly, they figured I was just uninterested or self-absorbed.
Tonight went well at first, as it usually does, but then I started feeling boxed in my head. I couldn't get my voice out (mostly throughout the night) because I couldn't think of anything relevant to say, and no one was bothering to chat with me. Am I unapproachable? Do people feel the need to be more respectful of my space? I don't know why, but no one talks to me, and I find it hard to talk to them!
I have learned to deal with this, and kind of laugh at it. But sometimes it gets overwhelming, like it did tonight, because I want to be apart of each night out. Clearly this is a psychological disability. It shouldn't be this hard to just think of what to say, and say it, but for me it's the hardest thing to do in the world.
Tonight went well at first, as it usually does, but then I started feeling boxed in my head. I couldn't get my voice out (mostly throughout the night) because I couldn't think of anything relevant to say, and no one was bothering to chat with me. Am I unapproachable? Do people feel the need to be more respectful of my space? I don't know why, but no one talks to me, and I find it hard to talk to them!
I have learned to deal with this, and kind of laugh at it. But sometimes it gets overwhelming, like it did tonight, because I want to be apart of each night out. Clearly this is a psychological disability. It shouldn't be this hard to just think of what to say, and say it, but for me it's the hardest thing to do in the world.