Problems at work, fear of responsibility

[Aron]

Hi,

So I've been working at this IT company for 5 years now (first job in my life btw). At first, it was a pretty ok place, they hired me with no experience, I could learn, and during the years I became a somewhat skilled person. But problems came with skill. They would expect more and more from me, in terms of responsibility, and things they think I'm capable of while I'm not.

For example they asked me if I would act as an "on-call" person, which means that I should carry a mobile and a laptop with me when I'm not at work, and they could call me anytime if there's a severe problem, and I should have to solve it. At work, I have more experienced colleagues than me to rely on if I can't solve a problem, but being an on-call I can't do that, I'm on my own. What if a problem comes which I can't solve? I probably wouldn't be able to sleep, being scared of when the phone will ring.

Now they want me to travel abroad to transfer a work from there to here. Alone. It scares the hell out of me. First of all, my english is far from good. Do not judge by this post, I'm talking about my verbal skills which are very poor, and I can't understand spoken english well either if they don't speak clearly (with accent for example). And by being SA it also makes me very incapable of doing a work transfer where one should be asking questions and negotiate if necessary and such, and that's not me, I can't do it. I don't know how I will get out of this, what I will tell them as a reason that I can't go. They expect me to answer on Monday.

Does anyone else have a problem at work because of the fear of responsibility? How do you deal with it?

 

[goldatom]

I don't know - just do it. Doing something is always better than not doing something. Besides always look at the positive aspects - you're getting to travel, or when you're asked to solve problems on your own, you're getting to learn and do something constructive.

 

[mikebird]

Mindreader...

That was my first ever IT job. You must deliver the world on the plate, for your manager, paid peanuts. Don't worry. Just poke 'em in the eye. Try offering to lick your boss' shoes while all in a meeting, and other lickzones, saying "that's what you wanted, wasn't it?" Stand up for yourself, and enjoy it.

Then I was fired after 2.5 years - as I remember, the Director didn't like me coming onto a sexy Kiwi girl at a Xmas party. I went to join their main client, in telecomms, at 1.5x the salary.

My average firing rate halved... another 2.5 years, and then fired after a year, and now I last 3 months (during the last decade) and now I last a week, and now about 3 days.

 

[Aron]

@goldatom: I can't do it. I just simply can't. In fact they didn't wait till Monday, my manager spoke with me today, and I told him that I don't want to go because I feel it's too much for me. He said it's ok, he doesn't want me to do something I don't want to do, they will send one of my less experienced colleagues. Now I feel stupid and worthless.

@mikebird: Haha, I couldn't say anything like that. I don't think that it applies to my case. Although the peanut part does... especially here where I live. I hope I won't get fired, I don't think so, I'm one of the few experienced ones, the rest left, and now we're full of newbies. I'm sorry to hear though about your situation.

 

[nicole1]

I always have. No matter how simple. Most of all, the thought of doing certain things I'm not comfortable with scares me and I just back away... Like being a manager. You should weight the options and come up with a plan. Ask what all it requires to do the job and go from there.

 

[coyote]

i've been facing this whole issue quite a bit lately

i tend to avoid working on projects that my boss gives me

not sure if I'm afraid to screw up, or scared I don't know what i'm doing

some sort of fear thing going on there

it's weird, because in past careers, I was in positions of much greater authority/responsibility and had to make some very tough decisions all the time - literally, life and death stuff

so now I just have to decide which color of sweatshirts to buy, and i can't bring myself to decide for fear of messing it up

go figure

 

[Cecilia219]

This is something I have always struggled with, because I like to work hard and do a good job- and then I get recognized & promoted- but all I want is to continue to do the job that I know and that I am good at. My last job I got promoted & I quit in the same conversation.

Something like this I feel like OK, you don't want to go out of your comfort zone with traveling, that's fine, but I think that if people think you are ready for this on-call position, do it! Your boss sees something in you even if you can't see it yourself. What happens if you're not good at it? Can you ask your boss if you can try it out for a couple weeks and see if you'll like it? Make up an excuse for why you may not like it.

Right now I am working at a job with people younger than me who do not have college degrees & I still feel like something bad is going to happen that I cannot solve & everyone is going to hate me. But it's really a day-to-day process- Don't even think about tomorrow yet! Take it one thing at a time. Can you solve this problem? Do it. Don't think about the next one until it comes up.

And if you can't do something, there are usually people/resources to help. You're not alone.

 

[someday17]

sometimes everything seems like a big responsibility and life itself seems impossible ::

 

[Cecilia219]

I have been finding myself thinking the same thing lately... Why is life so hard for me when everyone else seems to be doing OK? Why do the smallest problems exhaust me? It's not fair. I wish I could just take things in stride and move on when I make a mistake. Having so much fear of everything really blows.

 

[Cy Templar]

I know how that feels, to have these responsibilities placed on you and being utterly terrified, even when it would probably be a small thing for anyone else. I compare it to being confined to a wheelchair, but everyone expects you to be able to walk. They just don't understand that I have these limitations. And it's not like I can tell them!

So, unfortunately, I don't have any good advice about this. I work part-time on the night crew at a grocery store. A handful of coworkers, no customers, and I just work alone all night putting things on the shelves. I really don't think I could handle anything else. I quit my last job because I had a panic attack. In that situation, I was at one point left all alone with unfamiliar responsibilities and people were getting upset with me because I was screwing up, my anxiety snowballed into outright panic and I just broke down. I didn't show up to work after that.

 

[Aron]

This is something I have always struggled with, because I like to work hard and do a good job- and then I get recognized & promoted- but all I want is to continue to do the job that I know and that I am good at.

Exactly! Why can't they just leave me alone, and let me do this job I'm currently doing (and doing kinda good) without all this extra stuff. Why can't they just leave me be? It's this stupid "advancing" thing. You have to advance all the time, take on new challanges! New challanges my ass! I prefer my work and life to be calm and predictable.