VioletTears
Well-known member
So I am on Lexapro. It's my 4th antidepressant and I hate it just like I hated the others. I'm only on 1/2 a pill every other day but it's making me an anxious mess and my therapist told me that based on her experience with partial hospitalization patients this isn't something I should wait out. She said that I seemed to be getting "activated" and I should call my psychiatrist and she would call too and we would see about getting me on a different med ASAP.
So I called on Saturday and the only person on call was a therapist who said he couldn't advise me and it was my choice, I should call back on Monday. So I decided to go ahead and keep taking my meds anyways because I wanted to try to stick to my psychiatrist's orders until I heard differently.
So I called back today and my psychiatrist is telling me I am too sensitive so now I need to reduce my dose to 1/4 of a pill every other day... or 2.5 mg every other day. She says I have to do this for a week and then call her back.
I am going downhill so badly. This Lorazepam (benzo) that I take with it isn't doing enough. It helps for a little bit and then it wears off. By Saturday night I was so anxious I went out at 9 at night and walked and walked until I was out of breath and then turned back home. I managed to burn off my agitation but ever since then I have been deeply depressed and suicidal. Not my normal I wish I could kill myself suicidal, but the I have a razor in my hand and maybe I REALLY should kill myself suicidal. I have been holding onto hope that maybe my psychiatrist would help me. Now I don't know if I should even listen to her. I'm affraid I am going to do something bad if this goes on. But I feel like if I don't she won't help me anymore. If I want a new psychiatrist I'll need to wait months to get seen. I need help now. I need someone to listen to me. I wish my therapist could do more but I know she can't. I am so lost. If I tell anyone how I'm feeling I will probably be commited and then everyone will know. I can't do that. I want to pull through this, I really do. I have a son. I am just so scared.
So I called on Saturday and the only person on call was a therapist who said he couldn't advise me and it was my choice, I should call back on Monday. So I decided to go ahead and keep taking my meds anyways because I wanted to try to stick to my psychiatrist's orders until I heard differently.
So I called back today and my psychiatrist is telling me I am too sensitive so now I need to reduce my dose to 1/4 of a pill every other day... or 2.5 mg every other day. She says I have to do this for a week and then call her back.
I am going downhill so badly. This Lorazepam (benzo) that I take with it isn't doing enough. It helps for a little bit and then it wears off. By Saturday night I was so anxious I went out at 9 at night and walked and walked until I was out of breath and then turned back home. I managed to burn off my agitation but ever since then I have been deeply depressed and suicidal. Not my normal I wish I could kill myself suicidal, but the I have a razor in my hand and maybe I REALLY should kill myself suicidal. I have been holding onto hope that maybe my psychiatrist would help me. Now I don't know if I should even listen to her. I'm affraid I am going to do something bad if this goes on. But I feel like if I don't she won't help me anymore. If I want a new psychiatrist I'll need to wait months to get seen. I need help now. I need someone to listen to me. I wish my therapist could do more but I know she can't. I am so lost. If I tell anyone how I'm feeling I will probably be commited and then everyone will know. I can't do that. I want to pull through this, I really do. I have a son. I am just so scared.
