Mr. Snuffleupagus
New member
Hey everyone,
First up, this the first new thread I have created, so if the moderators think it should go somewhere else instead, then please move it and accept my apologies.
Now that that's out of the way, let me tell you something I've been dreading and will continue to dread for months...
...two parties.
There's two parties that aren't for months yet and already, I'm scared that I will have to go. I guess I fit into the category of "a specialized social phobia". There's different types of SA and SP. Me? I don't mind going to work or the store or even being on a bus or whatever. Most of the time, I'm just so focused on what I need to do that everyone around me just kind of blends into the background.
I love my job and it's actually fun. (It actually involves some customer service, actually).
But when parties are discussed...(shudder)...my skin just crawls and the ol' bile comes gurgling up my throat and it feels like the Darth Vader choke hold. Most of the time I can avoid them due to my schedule. I actually work the opposite shift of almost everyone where I work.
However...
There are some portions of the year where my workplace has certain hours, meaning every staff member works the same hours. So let's say, instead of working 7AM to 3:30PM, you have to work 9-5 like everyone else.
It was during one of these days that my head boss came up to me as I was waiting at my desk. I was waiting because some other co-worker had a birthday that day and they were all singing to him. How embarrassing! I wanted my Coca Cola from the fridge but because of my SA and the party, I had to wait...grrr...
Anyway, my boss simply stated "Birthday." She had a clip board with some kind of important-looking paperwork on it.
Figuring it was supposed to be for some form to fill out, I just rattled off my birthdate. After all those Dilbert-like forms I had to do all the time, it's an automatic response for me. Name...DOB...SSN...Date of this, date of that.
"Thank you!" she smiled. "We all had the staff draw names for birthdays coming up this year. Your name had a blank date under it, so now we know! You'd think you wouldn't want us to know when your birthday was!"
"Ah, ha ha..." I chuckled weakly with a fake, yet convincing smile. The boss went away as I felt an unseen pressure on my windpipe. I couldn't focus on my work. Mercifully, it was late afternoon and I had done all the importnant stuff already.
Each time I visit that lounge now, I imagine myself squirming uncomfortably in the center of everyone. It makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.
That's party one I have to try and avoid.
Here's party two:
Right at the end of each "fiscal" year, for lack of a better term, the boss has a party at her house for the staff. She lives way out on some country road on the outskirts of town. "Fun and games! Be casual! Have a good time!"
Guess how many times I went to this thing? Right. NONE.
For those wanting to avoid parties, the family excuse works good. At the time, I had two dilapitated grandparents out of town I had to visit that weekend. That was just a fluke it was the same weekend. It was their 60th wedding anniversary, so I couldn't say no. (By the way, they never partied. Grandma just made piles of food for a small family and Grandpa just sat and snored). No worries for SA or SP trouble there. My only worry is not having enough Tums when I go over there. Still, given the choice between heartburn or going to the staff party, gimmie that Alka-Seltzer any day!
The last year, I arranged things so I actually had to work during the party. It's complicated to explain, but it has to do with having the right amout of hours on my time card. At the end of the fiscal year, my hours switch back to my opposite schedule. Unless I do something like take vacation or work when the place is closed, by hours don't add up right. So, last year while everyone partied 10 miles away, I stayed at work after hours, the only one there, and did extra work until my hours were made up. By the time I was finished...oh my goodness! I missed the party! Gee, oh well. Shucks.
Now you should know that Party One (my birthday) and Party Two (the big work-away-from-work party) are just two weeks apart.
Until now, I had a plan. My fiancee and I were going to take a trip. I would leave a few days before my birthday and come back just as the staff party ended. It was foolproof. Unfortunately, I just found out tonight that my fiancee told me she probably can't get the time off after all.
I dread the day when I get that email about the party. Anyone remember the scene in "Back to the Future II" where Marty McFly finds his father's grave? "Oh please God no! This can't be happening! This can't be happening!" I'll feel the same way.
I'm lucky enough to plan things way ahead of time and use clever excuses to get out of parties. This time, however, it's going to be a challenge.
To any of you who have "partiophobia" (is that the right term?), there's a few tricks I've learned when dealing with them (or more specifically trying to get out of going to them).
1. Be friendly with the boss and co-workers if you can. If you're a grouch and grump around work, then they'll expect you to dig in your heels when party time comes. If you're nice, help out and are friendly, when it's time for that uh oh! last minute thing you can't avoid and have to miss the party, less people will hold it against you.
2. Volunteer to help with the party. "Whaaaa?" You might say, but it works. I got this tip from a book called "The Twenty Year Itch: Confessions of a Corporate Warrior". Here's what you do: volunteer to decorate. Cook food if you can cook, make invitations, whatever. Then duck out about 10 minutes till party time and stay out if you possibly can until clean up time, which you can also volunteer for. You get brownie points for being a good worker from the boss, and plus you also get out of going to the party.
3. If your job involves customer service or something where one person has to be at a front desk (like a motel), cashier or whatever, offer to cover their shift during party time. You could even offer to cover for the secretary if you work in an office setting and if you're qualified. It doesn't work everywhere, but there have been a few times where I've covered for people when it's party time.
"Y..you sure?" they'd ask hopefully.
"Aw go ahead. Have fun. I'll cover for ya. Eat some cake for me! I gotta watch my weight! Ha ha!" I would say. (You gotta know how to do a little office banter while you shoo them away). The rest of the staff runs to the break room or lounge like cattle while you do your part and say "Oh, I'll have something later."
When it is later, most of the food is gone, you're alone, but at least you missed the party and that claustrophobic feeling of panic.
Y'know, when someone says "I can't eat that, I'm allergic to_____", people accept it without pause. It's too bad I can't say "Sorry, parties scare me to death" and people would accept that and say "Oh ok. See you Monday."
Just some thoughts...
Snuffy
First up, this the first new thread I have created, so if the moderators think it should go somewhere else instead, then please move it and accept my apologies.
Now that that's out of the way, let me tell you something I've been dreading and will continue to dread for months...
...two parties.
There's two parties that aren't for months yet and already, I'm scared that I will have to go. I guess I fit into the category of "a specialized social phobia". There's different types of SA and SP. Me? I don't mind going to work or the store or even being on a bus or whatever. Most of the time, I'm just so focused on what I need to do that everyone around me just kind of blends into the background.
I love my job and it's actually fun. (It actually involves some customer service, actually).
But when parties are discussed...(shudder)...my skin just crawls and the ol' bile comes gurgling up my throat and it feels like the Darth Vader choke hold. Most of the time I can avoid them due to my schedule. I actually work the opposite shift of almost everyone where I work.
However...
There are some portions of the year where my workplace has certain hours, meaning every staff member works the same hours. So let's say, instead of working 7AM to 3:30PM, you have to work 9-5 like everyone else.
It was during one of these days that my head boss came up to me as I was waiting at my desk. I was waiting because some other co-worker had a birthday that day and they were all singing to him. How embarrassing! I wanted my Coca Cola from the fridge but because of my SA and the party, I had to wait...grrr...
Anyway, my boss simply stated "Birthday." She had a clip board with some kind of important-looking paperwork on it.
Figuring it was supposed to be for some form to fill out, I just rattled off my birthdate. After all those Dilbert-like forms I had to do all the time, it's an automatic response for me. Name...DOB...SSN...Date of this, date of that.
"Thank you!" she smiled. "We all had the staff draw names for birthdays coming up this year. Your name had a blank date under it, so now we know! You'd think you wouldn't want us to know when your birthday was!"
"Ah, ha ha..." I chuckled weakly with a fake, yet convincing smile. The boss went away as I felt an unseen pressure on my windpipe. I couldn't focus on my work. Mercifully, it was late afternoon and I had done all the importnant stuff already.
Each time I visit that lounge now, I imagine myself squirming uncomfortably in the center of everyone. It makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.
That's party one I have to try and avoid.
Here's party two:
Right at the end of each "fiscal" year, for lack of a better term, the boss has a party at her house for the staff. She lives way out on some country road on the outskirts of town. "Fun and games! Be casual! Have a good time!"
Guess how many times I went to this thing? Right. NONE.
For those wanting to avoid parties, the family excuse works good. At the time, I had two dilapitated grandparents out of town I had to visit that weekend. That was just a fluke it was the same weekend. It was their 60th wedding anniversary, so I couldn't say no. (By the way, they never partied. Grandma just made piles of food for a small family and Grandpa just sat and snored). No worries for SA or SP trouble there. My only worry is not having enough Tums when I go over there. Still, given the choice between heartburn or going to the staff party, gimmie that Alka-Seltzer any day!
The last year, I arranged things so I actually had to work during the party. It's complicated to explain, but it has to do with having the right amout of hours on my time card. At the end of the fiscal year, my hours switch back to my opposite schedule. Unless I do something like take vacation or work when the place is closed, by hours don't add up right. So, last year while everyone partied 10 miles away, I stayed at work after hours, the only one there, and did extra work until my hours were made up. By the time I was finished...oh my goodness! I missed the party! Gee, oh well. Shucks.
Now you should know that Party One (my birthday) and Party Two (the big work-away-from-work party) are just two weeks apart.
Until now, I had a plan. My fiancee and I were going to take a trip. I would leave a few days before my birthday and come back just as the staff party ended. It was foolproof. Unfortunately, I just found out tonight that my fiancee told me she probably can't get the time off after all.
I dread the day when I get that email about the party. Anyone remember the scene in "Back to the Future II" where Marty McFly finds his father's grave? "Oh please God no! This can't be happening! This can't be happening!" I'll feel the same way.
I'm lucky enough to plan things way ahead of time and use clever excuses to get out of parties. This time, however, it's going to be a challenge.
To any of you who have "partiophobia" (is that the right term?), there's a few tricks I've learned when dealing with them (or more specifically trying to get out of going to them).
1. Be friendly with the boss and co-workers if you can. If you're a grouch and grump around work, then they'll expect you to dig in your heels when party time comes. If you're nice, help out and are friendly, when it's time for that uh oh!
last minute thing you can't avoid and have to miss the party, less people will hold it against you.2. Volunteer to help with the party. "Whaaaa?" You might say, but it works. I got this tip from a book called "The Twenty Year Itch: Confessions of a Corporate Warrior". Here's what you do: volunteer to decorate. Cook food if you can cook, make invitations, whatever. Then duck out about 10 minutes till party time and stay out if you possibly can until clean up time, which you can also volunteer for. You get brownie points for being a good worker from the boss, and plus you also get out of going to the party.
3. If your job involves customer service or something where one person has to be at a front desk (like a motel), cashier or whatever, offer to cover their shift during party time. You could even offer to cover for the secretary if you work in an office setting and if you're qualified. It doesn't work everywhere, but there have been a few times where I've covered for people when it's party time.
"Y..you sure?" they'd ask hopefully.
"Aw go ahead. Have fun. I'll cover for ya. Eat some cake for me! I gotta watch my weight! Ha ha!" I would say. (You gotta know how to do a little office banter while you shoo them away). The rest of the staff runs to the break room or lounge like cattle while you do your part and say "Oh, I'll have something later."
When it is later, most of the food is gone, you're alone, but at least you missed the party and that claustrophobic feeling of panic.
Y'know, when someone says "I can't eat that, I'm allergic to_____", people accept it without pause. It's too bad I can't say "Sorry, parties scare me to death" and people would accept that and say "Oh ok. See you Monday."
Just some thoughts...
Snuffy
