Parents - Oblivious to Problems

[chris87]

Do any of your parents think that there is nothing wrong with you? I would say that mine are totally oblivious to my problems (mainly SA and OCD). I kind of thought that would be impossible given that I have no friends, never leave the house, and am always anxious.

According to my Dad, I have a wonderful life (yeah it's just great!). He seems to think that if you're not working ridiculous hours at a demanding job like he does, your life is happy and carefree.

My Mom believes that I am perfectly happy being by myself and that I have no issues. Her solution would be to make some friends if I wanted them.

That's the main reason I wouldn't tell them about seeking help. They would say something like "you just need to relax...you're fine."

 

[Ventrilo]

it does make me sad that i have been given this seemingly nice life in one of the highest living standards in human existence yet i still contemplate suicide and am severely depressed. I think my dad is completely oblivious too, although i don't live with him...

 

[Stressball]

It's like you read my mind and described my own parents. lol! I think perhaps...it a generational thing. My dad is like 59 and my mum's 46....my dad's life revolves around work...he can get 1-4 hours sleep a day and the rest is spent working on his ebay business. He feels if someone else is working and he's not, he's lazy and feels useless. My mum's always working too...has a pretty pitiful social life herself, to her people are not to be trusted, more to be criticized. My dad also thinks if you're not working to your grave, you have no right to be depressed about anything. (Funnily enough, he literally did work almost to his grave...he ended up getting type 1 diabetes. and was days away from dying..his fear of doctors made it ten times harder for us to get him help...I had to beg and plead with him to go to the hospital...it was me pleading with him that basically saved his life...I got no thanks whatsoever. He recognized my mum saving him...but never once ever mentioned me and how I tried to help too.)

Both my parents always tell me "what have you got to be depressed about? depression doesn't exist. you're just weak. you have such an easy, good life." When he was young he was also part of the Special Air Services and think's he's the mentally toughest guy around...but I could see through that, I saw an emotionally vulnerable and deeply insecure person. I know it stems from his abadonment as a child...like his biological mum dumped him at some friend's place when he was 3 because she couldn't look after him, and was raised by them. His foster mum was desperate for a girl but was left with this boy she wasn't fond of. So his still got rejection issues.. He also has no social life, me and my mum are basically his only social contacts. My mum has a negative outlook to everything in her life as well...and having to be around her everyday and just see her miserable, unhappy face is just damn depressing.

Before I seeked help I didn't go out of the house either, constantly anxious about everything, thinking about killing myself, irritated...how the hell couldn't they understand I needed help so bad? Once I realized I could not seek help from my parents, I had to tell my aunt one day, and she got me help, but my parents seem to still have grudges against that. They're just effing' impossible. I swear if I ever have kids, I'm never going to put them through this mental torture and feelings that you have no support.

Just know that there are others out there in the exact same shoes as you, I totally understand the pain and frustration.

 

[Hebidoshi]

My Dad majored in psychology, which is kind of a bad thing in a way. He knows what SAD is, but believes strongly that SAD sufferers all have severe symptoms, are reclusive, and don't have any friends. I think a have a mild case, but it has still hindered my life and kept me from enjoying so many things. I think part of it is that he doesn't want to believe there's something wrong with me.

My Mom- I don't know what she thinks. We're not close, so I don't confide in her too often. I mentioned it before, and we didn't really discuss it, but she didn't seem to deny it. Shes told me how shy she was growing up, perhaps she had had it as well.

They both seem to agree on the notion that I throw myself into situations that make me anxious just thinking about them to "fix the problem". I try to not feel anxious about it, and I try to talk to people, its just so difficult for me.

 

[Masgant]

My parent do not realize my problem, and this is my other problem. Im trapped. My parent consider me as a normal, or abnormal in a positive way. I had high achievement in education, i often got first rank in school, at least until junior high school. I entered to favorite senior h s,and now i am in favorite university in my country. But, all is nothing now, my college forces me to have much public speaking if i want to pass my study. For two years i leaved my campus without my parent's know, hid in my bording house room. I came back to my campus, it is my first week, i dont know what happen then. I wont make my parent regret. Wish me luck.