Paranoid over suicide

[Dark angel]

Hi everyone. I just want to share a thought and see if I'm the only one over here who thinks this way. I don't know if it is the fact that I'm having too much time under my hands but today I've been thinking a lot about suicide.This is not a desperate call for attention or anything, is just trying to have somebody to listen(or read for that matter) my thoughts. This kind of topics I could not discuss with my family 'cause they will immediately freak out or feel like Im going to attempt againts my life or go paranoid. Is not like I'm going to try it or anything but I'm afraid that in the future things looks so blurry to me that eventually this is the path that I'm going to take if things don't work out. For some reason, I have this weird feeling today that I could probably die young and I don't want to feel this way and I guess is because I'm afraid my life won't go exactly as I plan. I know things sometimes don't go your way and we have to be prepare for anything that life can throw at us but the thing is, that I'm not. I don't feel strong enough to handle anything that won't go exactly as I want. The ironic part is, I'm even afraid of death. I guess is safe to say that I'm afraid of the unknown, because the future itself scares me. But all I keep thinking is that death cannot be worse than this. Living all the time concern of where am I headed, am I ever gonna overcome my insecurities, am I ever gonna achieve what I want? am I gonna stop comparing myself to others? All of this gets pretty tiring and I would like to have the power of drowning my thoughts just for a slight second. Also I can help but thinking that I'm very weak. My mother and brother has gone through all sorts of stuff, very difficult moments, and I don't know where they take their strenght to keep on going. Why can I be the same way? Do you guys think about suicide often or am I the only one? I know this is a pretty sensitive topic but I feel like this is the only place I could share my thought without being look down or judge or anything.

 

[SoScared]

Quite a long post that I don’t feel qualified to reply to…but please accept a couple of comments.

I feel as though you are answering your own questions before the questions should even be asked and the answers that you are choosing have been pre-determined by yourself to be negative.

I’ve only read one of your previous threads but it really struck me as though you were somebody who would eventually find happiness.

 

[NewChick]

I am by no means qualified to give advise on this subject, but try to talk to someone in real life about yourself. There are so many options, but only one you can not return from.