overcoming AvPD/learning to live with it (getting started)

[sophie019]

Hi,
I'm new to this forum(so hello everyone!), I'm 19 now and I don't think my AvPD can get much worse(I really hope so too).
And lately I have been trying to do some of the things I find scary, but do-able, because my psychiatrist suggested it, and I know too it's the only way of overcoming these fears I have.
But problems I keep running into are 1: I've spent so much time by myself, not going to school, no friends, only talking to my mum and my cat, that I don't really know how you make friends and get people to like you anymore.
It feels very unnatural and I say weird things and my voice is shaking and my body just freezes.
Is there any way of learning how to be yourself and relax around people?(by being yourself I mean: say what you think, make a joke, say anything that makes remote sense at all..) because it just seems completely impossible to me.
And the second problem with 'facing my fears' is that I never feel proud of myself afterwards.
I always think I made a complete fool out of myself and I should go into hiding for the next year because that was the most awkward and embarrassing thing possible.
Which is why I really want to stop trying and stay inside my comfort zone, and stop trying.
Any advice maybe? personal experience or anything?
Really happy to have found this forum.
cheers,

 

[coyote]

Hi, and welcome to the foum.

 

[mozart87]

you're not making a fool of yourself it's just a perception influenced by others perceptions.
my piece of solution is to lower your standards about whats good in life, accept your mistakes.

unfortunately, theres no other way than facing the fears, the ineadquecies.
you could treat it like "homework" and reward yourself for working with things you really love to do.

also if you have time and mood I reccomend you this online course https://www.coursera.org/course/socialpsychology

it's free of charge you just have to register

 

[bsammy]

well its a good thing you arent letting any more time slip by as then you would be that much more lost and behind..past a certain age, there is no turning back and the damage is done.

 

[jaim38]

Hi and welcome to the forum!

And the second problem with 'facing my fears' is that I never feel proud of myself afterwards.
I always think I made a complete fool out of myself and I should go into hiding for the next year because that was the most awkward and embarrassing thing possible.

Yeah, I have the same problem too. Plus I don't have enough motivation for social success. I just think society sucks so why would I want to be a part of it. I'm also afraid of so many things that anything can make me jump or scream.

It's good how other people can recover quickly from their social mistakes and move on. But social mistakes seem to linger within me and sometimes, magnified 10x by people around me which only makes it worse. I'm very nervous now that fall has come and classes are around the corner.

 

[Predacon]

Hi, welcome to the site. I wouldn't worry about making a fool of yourself, you're probably judging yourself too harshly, most people are too wrapped up in themselves to notice others.