Overcoming anxiety - just a little step

mart22n

mart22n

Well-known member
Ok, so I'm about to do a scary thing. The idea about it has been on my mind for a few weeks, or even longer: to "break the ice" with a colleague who I have to talk to anyway on an almost daily basis. The point is I feel uncomfortable when talking to him, I'm afraid he thinks I'm weird or blahblah

So the plan is to relieve the related stress inside of me: I'm planning to tell him sincerely that "You know what? I get a bit anxious when I talk to you, because I kind of am afraid what you're thinking of me. Just wanted to let it out, now I'm much more relaxed"

Saying this sounds a bit of a nightmare to me, since 1) "he would think I'm strange, or miserable" 2) In the future he might always think "Ah, that's the weird guy, ok, I'm trying to avoid him" 3) He might tell his friends/colleagues about my sayings

Good things: 1) I'm more stress free at work so I can concentrate better; 2) I'm more careless when I talk to him in the future - so I get anxious. So f*in what? 3) Since I will overcome a fear of mine, life gets a little bit easier and better; 4) if I don't tell him that, I get more depressed about all that topic.

So, more pros than cons. Let's see how it goes tomorrow people!!

:)
 
K

kj7

Member
you will probably feel much much better around him. I know thats how I feel when someone knows what im dealing with, its so much easier talking to them and im much more comfortable. so gl
 
M

missjesss

Banned
be careful on how you word it if you tell him he is making you anxious he will automatically think he has more power over you and can treat you however he wants becuase you are "scared of him" why don't you just say you have a bit of a nervous problem IN GENERAL and are quite shy and reserved but don't make it out to him that he is making you feel that way good luck
 
D

D@rwin_dude

Member
Good on you man!! I think you're right it will make things easier around him...after all I think half the problem is trying to act like nothing is wrong and worrying that little things might 'give away' how we're feeling...Can't wait to hear how it goes!
 
mart22n

mart22n

Well-known member
Hi everyone,

I did this today. Went OK. If I remember correctly, I said "You know, I get kind of anxious when I'm talking to you. Now that I said it, I can stay calm again. I'm actually really shy around people."

So, his reaction was a bit surprised, but I think I wasn't expelled from society for telling him that.

Heh, next time I'm gonna push myself to do the same thing around another coworker. Or talk about different "interesting" stuff with this colleague.

So guys, I think if you keep doing those scarier things, life gradually gets easier. Repetition is important, though ;)

P.S. I think everyone is "weird" in a unique way. I'm not trying to make a fuss about being anxious. C'mon, I think being anxious around people is just a step in human development.

Take care,
Martin
 
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