Over-doing it with people

grapevine

Well-known member
#1
This is just a curiosity if others do this too?

Ive always felt with my shyness that I usually take big prevalent steps to make the other person feel comfortable with me or within any situation around me. Usually if its at my house, but also just about anywhere.

I find that Ill overcompensate, even stomping on my own comfort and boundaries to do so. I just cannot stand any bit of unease or insecurity from the person I am with - as it reminds me of my own I guess. If they feel insecure- Ill feel it too etc.
Ill also jump to say or do something to make an awkward situation less awkward.

But its funny tho, because I've noticed that some people with shyness won't do this. They will just instead be a viewer of the awkwardness without being self-conscious of themselves doing so (so it seems). Perhaps freeze (?).

In any case I realise that its so much energy trying to please people your with all the time. It ends up getting very over-taxing on your own needs.

I guess there is 2 or more types of social anxiety; one where the person feels like they have over-compensate and control situations and the 2 - where the person will just retreat into themselves.
 

lily

Well-known member
#2
when i laugh at situations i actually do feel that it's funny but now that you brought this up it might just cause people to feel more uneasy if they're not like that but then again it might cause them to be more easy on their own like they might laugh too on the inside
 

cappatown420

Well-known member
#3
I felt like this was related but was unsure.

When I was in grade school, the teacher asked my parents if I had a hearing problem. She said, she would ask me things and I would sit silent and just look at her. Yeah, I heard fine.

So this reminded me of something recent that happened, I had a group interview with probably 7-8 other people and 2 upper management. I was the most talkative, outspoken, honestly I felt like I was one of the best.

It really shocked me, how quiet they were being and how they kept to themselves. I had so many problems with anxiety, depression, people in general, self worth, agoraphobia, panic attacks.

I was at a way disadvantage, but no one else tried. Weird. Got the job and quit after 1 day. See ya ****ers
 

PeterO

Well-known member
#4
Yes, I do that. One reason I often like to do things alone is because with another person, I always worry about if s/he is enjoying it and then I can't enjoy it myself. I can also get really connected to people really fast, then suddenly not want to interact with them again.
 
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