Over analysing

[SplosionDude]

So there's this girl who actually talks to me. Sometimes we spend breaks together, etc. Probably the closest thing to a friend I've had in a while. The problem is I just can't stop overanalysing our conversations. Everytime after we've talked I always end up convincing myself that I've ruined it and she will never want to talk to me again. So I end up feeling really down and stressed until we talk again and it hits me that I obviously didn't say something that would make her hate me and I was just reading into things way too much.

It's like I'm waiting for me to ruin this one good thing and to be totally alone again.


Anyway, anybody else do this sort of thing a lot?

 

[evil feline space cadet]

YES!!!

I'm terrible for it. It got so bad that i usually just freeze up and distract myself when I'm around a guy i like. Just to avoid saying something stupid.. But he probably thinks its ignorance so not a wise idea!

And with friends I constantly think I've done something to annoy them or make them hate me. Ever get the feeling half, if not most, of your friends hate you? It sucks!


I read somewhere to try not to focus on yourself or how you may sound but to focus entirely on the other person, and how interesting they are... Try it!

 

[Luke1993]

Yes very similar to a situation I'm having now actually... except I don't talk to her during breaks I can't bring myself to I just sit on my own (this is at college by the way) but I have tried talking to her before or after lessons and i overanalyse it all

 

[evil feline space cadet]

Luke. I feel your pain. I couldnt talk to anyone in school cause it felt like they didnt want me there (though some groups literally ran away from me) - I dont understand why.
Because of this I used to hide in a bathroom cubicle for the whole hours break...
Its not good....

And Raz, You're not alone!!

 

[Luke1993]

Luke. I feel your pain. I couldnt talk to anyone in school cause it felt like they didnt want me there (though some groups literally ran away from me) - I dont understand why.
Because of this I used to hide in a bathroom cubicle for the whole hours break...
Its not good....

And Raz, You're not alone!!

ha funny you should say that actually! i was considering using the toilets as a hiding place during breaks (because i cant help feeling people are looking at me) but i didnt want someone to find out i was doing this (eg hearing me eat my lunch while im in there), so i decided against it.

 

[evil feline space cadet]

Yeah but see i cant eat in front of people or give any indication that im eating when people were around so it worked for me!!
Kind of regret not mingling with people though..
I'd say they secretly knew i was hiding in there because girls spend hours putting on makeup and bitching!

 

[Liekki]

Overanalysing conversations afterwards, oh yes. This is typical behaviour for me too. And if someone says something neutral, I always end up taking it in the worst possible sense; even if my reason says that's not the case.

It's natural and very easy for me to start caring about people too, and I've found myself disappointed so many times. I've recently started to think that there really are no such things as real friendships, they are just illusions created by circumstances. People come and go, no-one ever stays. This doesn't mean I hate people, that's not the case, there are people that I like a lot but right now I'm thinking I won't ever call anyone a friend again. This might not be a very healthy approach to life, but then again it might help with my SA, since it removes most of the point of being afraid of embarrasment.

 

[typewriterx]

Guilty. Simple things like "Hello" I can spend hours thinking it over, the words, the body language, the tone of voice, the facial expressions. It's an irritating habit of mine. >.< Just keep telling yourself that you didn't say anything wrong. It's just a quirky SA thing methinks.