Others Playing Cupid

[blackcap]

Has anyone been in the situation where others have tried to play cupid for you, like trying to set you up with a mutual friend or colleague? I am kinda in that position at the moment where some workmates are teasing me about this girl in another branch who is single too (and apparently her workmates are teasing her too).

Although she rarely come to our branch (we are in different parts of the country), I'm already feeling really uncomfortable about how I will behave next time she visits. I mean we get on okay and we chat a bit on MSN, but we're not that close. It's just that we're both single so people are trying to set us up. I feel like next time she comes to town people will be expecting me to take her out and generally get to know her better (which I'd like to do anyway, but it's just the expectation that gets me). And when we go to lunch/dinner as a group, I'll feel like people are watching how we interact and then I'll go into my shell even more than usual.

Just wondering how others handle this.

 

[Thelema]

Maybe you could try to take her out just the two of you instead of being with a group of people.

Hope everything works out well.

 

[Richey]

to be honest im totally against the whole setting people up thing, im not into going on dates with people that im not friends with first on a face to face level, and the cupid thing would be a nightmare for me, having people discuss it behind my back, i would need to get on with them on a friendship level first, but thats just me....i dont gel to unwanted attention.

you said you chat to her on msn, if it was me i would tell the people in your branch who are trying to set you both up to "SOD OFF" and get a life, its childish high school behaviour.

you just need to use a little spine and say that you'll decide if you want to ask her out in your own time and ask them to stop being so invasive

being set up just adds alot of awkwardness and pressure to the date, well thats me, maybe your different

add to that everyone in your branch gossiping about how its all going, as if your being controlled like a puppet, ugh!

your dating experiances should be private and not a circus show for all to behold imo

thats what i would do

 

[blackcap]

It's all such unneccessary pressure, when there's someone, or a group of someones watching your every move.

I can sympathise with you on this one blackcap... hook ups are a bitch :x

Yeah I'm sure even non-SA people hate it when it happens to them.

The funny (maybe sad) thing is, I've chatted to a couple of other single girls who have suggested friends they know who are single. I just wonder though, if they don't like me in that way, what makes them think that their single friend(s) would like me like that? If I am a decent catch, why are you suggesting your friends and aren't interested yourself?!

I can only conclude that I'm one of these guys who they think is good enough for others, but not themselves

 

[blackcap]

you said you chat to her on msn, if it was me i would tell the people in your branch who are trying to set you both up to "SOD OFF" and get a life, its childish high school behaviour.

you just need to use a little spine and say that you'll decide if you want to ask her out in your own time and ask them to stop being so invasive

Nah I don't want to get all upset and make a big deal out of it, that would bring even more attention to it, except instead of being open about it they'd discuss it behind my back!

They are only teasing, and you're right it is a bit like high school. If I really liked her and thought I had a chance with her then maybe I'd tell everyone to leave us alone, but there's really nothing there. The only time I'm going to feel awkward is if she comes to our branch again - that's when I'll feel self-conscious even though I'm not really interested. I don't want to totally ignore her because we are work-friends, but I don't want to talk to her too much in case people think I'm trying to chat her up.

 

[blackcap]

Think about it this way: I'm sure you know a lot of pretty awesome girls that you would consider "worthy" of dating someone, even though you yourself aren't interested. It's all about personal taste, just because your friends think that you would go well with someone else doesn't mean they think you're "unworthy" of them.

Or you could look at it like this: I love sushi, and jam, and soy sauce, and peanut butter, but if I had to pair my fav foods with one another I wouldn't put peanut butter with soy sauce, and I wouldn't put sushi with jam - that would just be bad news for everyone... :?

Heheh, thanks for the delicious analogy :lol: If I'm peanut butter then I wish my jam would hurry up and meet me!