Only Child Syndrome

[JWH]

Were any of you the only child? If so, do you feel it has played a part in your SP?

 

[Yossarian]

I was (still am) an only child and I can see ways in which it could of played a part in my SP. Certainly it didn't help my social skills with my peers and I still feel more comfortable with those not of a similar age to me.

But there is always two sides to everything. It could of made me more independant, given me time to develop strong sense of self etc. Same can be said about those with many siblings, could be good, could be bad. I think our inherant personality traits are the factor in determining what we make of our environment, blah blah blah.

Besides I just made my own friends out of Lego and they could turn into spaceships. Can Cameron Diaz or Brad Pitt turn into spaceships - no. I rest my case.

I've waffled off point again sorry...

 

[LilMissTragic]

i'm not an only child, I have one brother but I think that contributed to my socialphobia as he was overly confident and it was always him in the limelight and I, being shy was set in the background. It didnt help that he was a bit of a bully and enjoyed making my life hell...as siblings seem to enjoy. Sometimes i used to wish i was an only child, even now I cant talk to my brother properly. Thankfully though i'm not as socialphobia as I once was and this no longer bothers me.

 

[JWH]

Well then. I am an only child turned adult I guess it could be said. It's truly been the worst thing for my SP. I was a mistake to begin with, and with mother having me at 40 or so there has never been much of an understanding or connection. However, this is not to be mistaken with care, motherly love or protection of which there was plenty.

This has been the root of my problem. I was constantly taken out of class at around the age of 11 to go to doctors, psychologists, therapists, you name it. When you see kids on TV being labelled with ADD and the rest, I get so angry. I so wanted to understand what was going on, and why I seemingly had every disease under the sun. This is when I first noticed something wrong with myself and my mother - when a girl came up to me and said "your mother is overprotective".

I now look back on those years and think, how could I have been so blind. But it was part my mother leading me, my reluctance to take charge and my mental maturity. Comparison plays an important role in my life and social situations. I had no one to relate to growing up. The more I realised this, the more I withdrew. I became obsessed with controlling myself and my mother as I became more aware of how she affected my past, and I still do to some degree. I am slowly trying to turn this behaviour around, but it is so hard because now I see faults in everyone.

Now I know this isn't all due to being an only child, but also an overmedicating compulsion of my mother. She now exerts this behaviour onto others - primarily old people.

 

[wistful_dementia]

I have 2 bros and one sis... my younger sis is pretty shy but not SAD bad. My parents are reclusive with not too many friends. They discouraged me having friends as I grew up. That combined with my innate extreme shyness + watching alot of cruelty by kids (condoned by thier parents) on a social and physical level played a strong part in my SAD.

 

[Anonymous]

(a guy, btw)

I have the Middle-Child Syndrome, caught between two brothers.

 

[Anonymous]

I might aswell have been an only child!!!...I always had both parents but my dad more or less brought me up. I love both of my parents but I just wish my mom would act like one. :roll:

 

[Anonymous]

i have an older sister 22, brother 19 and little brother 12 . im 17
i think that if u have siblings, u actually have less social skills than only children, because u have always had your siblings to play with and be with for company. only children have to make an effort to make friends and interatc with other children more because they have no playmates.
defintely havin an older sister i dont like because she is such a know it all and she is so clever and i was always less clever than her, and my achievements dumb compared to everything she had accomplished. i also recall times when she said some horrible things to me such as ''they were right about you'' when we would argue, nasty little remarks that destroy your self esteem. i really resent her for using me as her emotional punchbag. i know now why she said the things she did but the damage has been done now. siblings can be just as harmful in your development as parents.

 

[Chilling_Echo]

only child! i'm sure having siblings could have helped, then again there are alot of factors that come into play with that

 

[Crimefish]

I have a brother and a sister. I'm the middle child. My sister never had many friends, but she's still very outgoing, and she goes out with her friends a lot. My brother has a million friends and he's never home, so our phone is always ringing. Which is bloody irritating, as I hate the noise, and I hate answering it.

So I guess it wasn't upbringing.

 

[Melodyz]

I was an only child. I'm not sure if it affected me in any way good or bad.

 

[Fredscars]

i have one brother about..a year and a half older than me. i think im partly SP because my mom is pretty shy, my dad just isnt good with people..my brother is kinda...the guy who sticks out at school...really really clever..and he always gets amazing marks ALL the time..whereas i do mediocre (still good tho) and so i always compare myself to him.

 

[Dedication]

I have two older brothers...both highly intelligent and successful. My ideas and opinions were always shouted down so I just started keeping things to myself.

 

[LittleMissScareAll]

I'm an only child. I don't think that caused my social phobia...though I guess I can't really be sure. The only way I would know is if we could go back in time and if my parents had another baby...but honestly I think that would have made me even worse. I'm very jealous, so I think I would have ended up having even more problems if, as a child, I had a younger sibling who received more attention than me.

 

[cincykid]

Not only was/am I an only child, but I was also the oldest grandchild out of all my cousins, and I was raised by a single mother. What this meant for me was that I was never left alone and people were always paying attention to me and scrutinizing my behavior, be it academic, athletic, or social, whether or not I wanted them to. I wasn't able to fade into the background and observe like I wanted to, and I think it contributed to my SA

 

[Nytro]

Im an only child, i have a half brother but hes twice as old as me and lives out of state. Also my father died when i was 11 and i barely got to see him and both my parents were immigrants. I feel this has had a great impact on the SA.