Online crush

[alex29]

I have a huge crush on someone I know only online. He lives hundreds of miles away and the chances of us having a relationship are very slim.

I really want to meet him. I've told him I'm shy and not as confident as I come off online, and he says he thinks I show him the real me and that it will come out just because he already knows that side of me. Ive known him for a long time

But I'm still afraid that if/when I meet him I will go back in my shell and be boring. I won't be able to make him laugh like I do online, and he'll be disappointed with who I am.

I also wonder if maybe the only reason I like him so much is because he is the only guy who has ever told me I'm beautiful, lovable, makes him laugh. He even told me he loved me a while ago. There is no doubt in my mind that he really likes me (the love I'm not sure yet since we haven't met) and I'm just afraid that this is me being desperate.

I'm afraid that the side of me he loves so much will shatter in front of his eyes if we meet.

And for the really embarassing part of it, I like to pretend he's the pillow I hug and kiss at night. I can't believe I'm saying this :lol:

 

[millymoocow]

wow, this sounds like a beautiful relationship.

he sounds like a great guy. well just be yourself when/if you meet him. if you get stuck for things to say, bring up something you were chatting about online that he was interested in. 8) if he really feels like he knows you, he won't reject you, and you'll find it easy being around him. but yeah it's really hard to talk to guys, or really anyone, when you are really shy like this. try to be yourself and if he is worthwhile, he will understand you and be patient with you.

and maybe he'll move in with you if things go really well?

good luck! :wink:

 

[alex29]

wow, this sounds like a beautiful relationship.

aww I think we do the best we can with the circumstances. Thanks for your reply

 

[shynobody]

And for the really embarassing part of it, I like to pretend he's the pillow I hug and kiss at night. I can't believe I'm saying this :lol:

ahahha :lol: 8)

this story sounds eerily familiar lol (inside joke). i've had some "so-called" online relationships and youre right...they rarely work out...sorry to say. you should try and prove me wrong . most just fade away with time. but savor the moment. but if you are serious and want to move forward...than plan how you are going to meet and stuff. if you dont...youre just fooling yourselves. make a commitment. also...make sure he is who he says he is and do some background checks...you never know. dont know how old you are? if underage...make sure your parents know. and only meet in a public place in the initial meetings. if you get that far, if he truly loves you...he'll accept you for you so dont worry if you go into your shell or are boring. in time, i'm sure you'll be more comfortable talking to him. good luck!

 

[Danfalc22]

Aww this post is so cute specialy the pillow part... but anyway shynobody gave some good advice so im not gonna repeat whats already been said.Cept ive had a few online relationships aswell.. and they are hard and dont always work out.. but at the same time neither do alot of real life ones so i dont think you have anything to loose.. and i think ya should go for it,the longer you keep the relationship online the more hard it will be after a while.

And i wouldnt worry about not knowing what to say ect or feeling like ya gonna come across boring,its a big thing ya bound to be nervous.. ya seem a really sweet person and if this guy really loves you it wont matter what you do or dont say If its that hard to talk at first just take a walk holding hands.. leap on him and hug him to death lol.. so he knows ya like him (because he is probaly be just as nervous) and a lil affection can break the ice then just wait till it feels comfortable to talk.If your too scared to talk you could even just txt him while your with him.. anyway good luck hope it works out for ya

 

[alex29]

we're not in a "relationship" now, but we've chatted for 5+ years. we're in college now and i really want to meet him (i know he's who he says he is and all that). I am definately waiting to meet him before telling him how I feel. i know he wants to meet me too. i've had these feelings for so long i feel like i'm about to explode

I didnt put this in the first post because it doesnt have anything to do with my shyness but...what if when I tell him he has feelings back for me, where would the relationship go from there? if we do get into a bf/gf relationship I fear that would be harder to keep up because of the distance. it's hard enough just being friends! anyway this is stuff we would have to work out if it turns out we do love each other.

thx for your advice

 

[Danfalc22]

Im gonna try and keep this short and to the point or ill end up ranting on about how sweet this post is What happens if it turns out you both have feelings for each other when you do meet? Well like ya said.. its hard enough keeping a friendship over the net,but youve done it for 5 years... i think you will both know whats right to do..and just like youve managed to keep a friendship together over the net,you will be able to find a way and keep a long distance relationship going if thats what you both really want. I think worst case situation is you meet but ya dont have the same feelings as you thought you would.. but i think you would both realise that if it wasnt the case.. and tbh after how long youve been speaking i think ya have a pretty good idea anyway, trust ya heart.

Sorry for the late reply,and give us an update if you do meet i so wanna know how it goes just spare us the the super soppy details cos soppyness is queezy unless your the involved party :lol: Seriously tho good luck

 

[alex29]

lol thank you!! its a little embarrassing to talk to people about this, so I dont. just having a place to talk about it helps since Ive had it bottled up for all these years. I cant wait to see how it turns out

 

[Shonen_Yo]

From my experience it always ends in pain.

 

[M1tCh]

From my experience it always ends in pain.

I second this sentiment.

 

[Emma]

You never know if they secretly dating other people, or if you're just a fill in until something better comes along....thats just my opinion

 

[alex29]

You never know if they secretly dating other people, or if you're just a fill in until something better comes along....thats just my opinion

trust is not the issue. i have known him for years. we arent dating now, i dont care if hes dating someone else, but i'm pretty positive he's not. i wouldnt expect him to wait around for me without ever meeting him though.

 

[Hamster_Girl]

doooont!!!

there are creeps on the internet, man!

dont you watch dateline nbc?

seriously though

 

[alex29]

there are creeps off the internet too. he knows my name/address, ive known him for years. if he wanted to hurt me he would have by now.

again this is really not the issue im asking for advice on

 

[Danfalc22]

You never know if they secretly dating other people, or if you're just a fill in until something better comes along....thats just my opinion

True... but thats just as true for any type of relationship online or not,and agaiin theres creeps in real life lol.Alot of the time in real life you dont get to see the real side of someone for quite a while.Talking to someone online for years... i think shows someone is serious because if they wasnt really serious they wouldnt have the patience to just talk for that long sorta thing.Anyway i guess everyone is entitled to there opinion.

 

[slowmotiondaydream]

lovely thread.

i myself is actually in one.. it'll be 2yrs soon and its meant to be, i disregard all thoughts that it might be someone else behind the pc because ive actually seen them .. spoken to them, whats left is to be with them physically.

cards were placed on the table and feelings were shown, turns out it was mutual.

break a leg mate, you wont regret it.
sp, sa and all the other things are forgotten once something beautiful happens like this, online or in person

 

[johnyboy]

I have a huge crush on someone I know only online. He lives hundreds of miles away and the chances of us having a relationship are very slim.

I really want to meet him. I've told him I'm shy and not as confident as I come off online, and he says he thinks I show him the real me and that it will come out just because he already knows that side of me. Ive known him for a long time

But I'm still afraid that if/when I meet him I will go back in my shell and be boring. I won't be able to make him laugh like I do online, and he'll be disappointed with who I am.

I also wonder if maybe the only reason I like him so much is because he is the only guy who has ever told me I'm beautiful, lovable, makes him laugh. He even told me he loved me a while ago. There is no doubt in my mind that he really likes me (the love I'm not sure yet since we haven't met) and I'm just afraid that this is me being desperate.

I'm afraid that the side of me he loves so much will shatter in front of his eyes if we meet.

And for the really embarassing part of it, I like to pretend he's the pillow I hug and kiss at night. I can't believe I'm saying this :lol:

this post is really cute post..do what you have to do just make a background check on him,you know many guys will do everything just to get something ( hope you get my point).Im happy that someone's feeling is inlove savor that moment thats what i call anxiety free when your inlove.

 

[scissorhands]

Hey, I have Social Anxiety Disorder and met someone long distance online like this as well. I also feared the same things you do about meeting her in person for the first time. That was six years ago and I live with her now and everythings great. Try not to worry about it too much. He knows who you are inside without the anxiety so it'll come out when you meet him, and if not it will eventually and since you already told him your problem he'll likely understand and be patient with you.

Best of luck to you

 

[alex29]

Hey, I have Social Anxiety Disorder and met someone long distance online like this as well. I also feared the same things you do about meeting her in person for the first time. That was six years ago and I live with her now and everythings great. Try not to worry about it too much. He knows who you are inside without the anxiety so it'll come out when you meet him, and if not it will eventually and since you already told him your problem he'll likely understand and be patient with you.

Best of luck to you

thx. I told him Im shy and quiet but I havent ever said anything about SA to anyone. I think your right tho....he will understand. its just unsettling!

 

[scissorhands]

I never told my girlfriend about SA so she never knew how severe it was. I never even really told her I was shy at all. I didn't want to tell her, hoping that by the time I met her in person in her city I could have overcome SAD. And meeting her in her city did help, cause I wasn't worried about running into people I know, or anyone from my small town seeing me. The city was so huge compared to my hometown and there were SO many people that it was almost like not having people around. Cause with that many people, that many crowds, and people so busy, who really cares what one guy on the sidewalk is doing, you know?
Anyway I'm going off on a tangent. I knew that we both liked each other enough that something like SAD wouldn't get in the way and I'm sure if he likes you it will not change how he feels about you. And really I think guys are more accepting of dating a girl who is very shy, more than a girl is of dating a shy guy, it just isn't masculine... So if this exact scenerio worked out for me I'm sure it will for you. How far apart do you two live?