One thing I was told has helped me

[rocky_oreo]

I'm new here so please be gentle. My partner told me that everyone on this planet is different and that if everyone was the same then the world would be a boring place. But he was trying to explain to me that just because I have social anxiety doesn't mean I am different to anyone else and that I have as much right to be somewhere or do something that anyone else does. This has really helped me to cope and I hope it might help someone else too.

I remember a few years ago when I was on holiday and I saw a big group of special needs adults and they were given help by their helpers in everything they did and I realised I needed help with my social anxiety and that has helped me because I felt like I was too old (I'm 29 now) to receive help for something that I feel so silly and embarrassed about, even though I have suffered with it since I was a kid. But then I realised there is help out there, for everyone and I think everyone needs help at some point in their lives, so there is certainly nothing wrong with that. Hope that makes sense

 

[jaim38]

I can relate. I come from a family where my parents are more comfortable paying rather than accept help from others. I remember my mom and a relative went to a McDonald's and ordered food. The total came out to be under $20, and my mom wanted to pay but the relative said she can handle it. Instead of relenting, my mom kept fighting with her, and they physically struggled over who gets to pay. It was so ridiculous that the cashier was looking and laughing at them. My mom is so cheap, so for her to do this, I think she's putting on a show, trying to show that she's magnanimous when she's really not. This occurred several times.

Same thing with my dad. At the restaurant, he tried to take the tab and refused to let other people do so. Sometimes he made such a big deal over it that other people were looking at us wondering what the heck is going on. Gosh, why can't they just split the tab up and be done with it?!? Jeeze louise.

My parents are both cheap, but in public, they act like they have all the money in the world and try to pay for others. I wonder why they are willing to spend for other people but not for themselves.

 

[coyote]

I'm new here so please be gentle.

Hi, and welcome to the forum.

 

[JackOfSpades]

Welcome Rocky And I don't think you're too old to receive help. You may have a hard time accepting help, asking for help, thinking you deserve help, but I dont think you're too old to receive. And I think you do deserve it. I'm like you in that I'm relatively young still, but feel very old already. And notice my age now and give it significance it maybe shouldn't have. So I relate to you mentioning that.

Sometimes I have a hard time accepting people as they are the closer I get to them or the more I really like them. I remember I was being unfairly judgemental of someone once and they said the same thing to me. That if everyone was the same life would be boring. And it's helped me let go of certain things and realize the absurdity of a world where everyone is the same, has the same thoughts and ideas and background. What that would do to art, and music, and culture. Stories and ideas. The ability to be surprised by something or to have that view shifting realization.

I don't always like living under the burdens I do. But from underneath them, there's great oppurtunity to lend another perspective.

 

[rocky_oreo]

I think I started off with this as my first post because when I look at the world around me and see groups of friends together doing anything or when they talk about the clubs/parties they have been to at the weekend (on facebook), I always feel left out because I don't really have any friends. My partner is my best friend and I do have some lovely friends who I have met online, but I don't have any offline. So I feel like I don't fit in, or wouldn't belong if I tried. Not that clubs or parties etc is something I would like to do. So I think of what my partner told me about the world being a boring place if everyone was the same and just hope one day I can find an offline friend who will accept me for who I am