older APDers advice to younger APDers??
- Thread starter bsammy
- Start date
You cannot control avoidance if you don't understand it.
So my advice would be to read about AvPD, even if it is something as simple as Avoidant personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Education allows you to reconize the avoidance in you then comes awareness.
Psych's are very important, however don't look to them for every answer.
YOU have to do the work, they will support your awareness and talk thought your process while you're building up knowledge.
My growth has come by understanding avoidance and yes, "issues" are needed for growth.
When you think things are becoming worse- they are for a good reason.
The world is constantly growing and you're growing with it.
Important to know- Avoidance is controllable, doesn't mean you will get rid of it, but you will understand what it takes to default it.
And, any big issues you will bounce back very quick from education, past experiences and awareness .
So my advice would be to read about AvPD, even if it is something as simple as Avoidant personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Education allows you to reconize the avoidance in you then comes awareness.
Psych's are very important, however don't look to them for every answer.
YOU have to do the work, they will support your awareness and talk thought your process while you're building up knowledge.
My growth has come by understanding avoidance and yes, "issues" are needed for growth.
When you think things are becoming worse- they are for a good reason.
The world is constantly growing and you're growing with it.
Important to know- Avoidance is controllable, doesn't mean you will get rid of it, but you will understand what it takes to default it.
And, any big issues you will bounce back very quick from education, past experiences and awareness .
NotAfraidJustBlah
Member
Hey. I'm in my 30's and started avoiding when I was about 23... A ripe prime age.
BUT I had a pretty active social life from (birth) til then.
My advice, try to force yourself to get "some" experience because I guarantee you will REGRET it later.. what I mean, you don't need to party or be the socialite.. but do it once or twice, just to feel you "got it over with" and then say to yourself "now that I did it.. it wasn't all that..." But, at least you did it once or twice....
Aletheia
Well-known member
I'm probably the last person who should be giving advice, but if I could go back and tell my 16 year old self anything, it would be this:
Stop obsessively trying to be "like everyone else" and instead focus on finding out who you actually are. You are unique and you need to nurture that, not crush it. It's only during the rare times that I'm able to let myself be myself that I feel alive and not like some poorly built robot. And guess what, other people respond to that, too.
That, and:
The fact that you're struggling doesn't make you a bad person. Asking for help doesn't make you weak. I left it until I was 27 and suicidal and I wish to God I hadn't.
Get onto it as soon as you possibly can, because the longer you leave it, the harder it will get. Think things are bad because you're the only one who doesn't have a date? It's ten times worse when you're the only one who doesn't have a spouse. Don't waste any more of your life than you have to.
Stop obsessively trying to be "like everyone else" and instead focus on finding out who you actually are. You are unique and you need to nurture that, not crush it. It's only during the rare times that I'm able to let myself be myself that I feel alive and not like some poorly built robot. And guess what, other people respond to that, too.
That, and:
The fact that you're struggling doesn't make you a bad person. Asking for help doesn't make you weak. I left it until I was 27 and suicidal and I wish to God I hadn't.
Get onto it as soon as you possibly can, because the longer you leave it, the harder it will get. Think things are bad because you're the only one who doesn't have a date? It's ten times worse when you're the only one who doesn't have a spouse. Don't waste any more of your life than you have to.