Oh my god! :)

A

aj

Well-known member
...oh my god oh my god oh my god...

I just asked someone if they wanted to do something after work tomorrow (in the middle of the day, not a date, lol)... and I gave them my mobile number. Hate lying but I said there's no signal where I live, because there's no way I'd be able to talk normally there, not yet anyway. There's no privacy at all.

I am crapping myself now. I may have to go out with them *and* talk to them on the phone. Forget the presentations I had to do in college, they were easy. I'm so scared I'm going to mess this up and I can't get out. Help! Can I reset my life please!? I guess this is about how 'normal' people feel when they're getting married :?

I had to tell someone, sorry if nobody's interested, just let the thread die ;)
 
A

aj

Well-known member
Thank you IceLad :)

Nothing happened at the weekend because she had a cold. Anyway, when I asked, I had the same feeling like I had all those years ago when 'friends' asked me out at the weekend or whatever. I immediately feel trapped and don't want to do it. Like someone has punched me in the stomach.

I don't know why. Maybe it's because I know it's going to be scary? Maybe when it used to happen it was because I didn't like the people or what we did? Maybe I'm just a p*ick who can't be bothered to care about anyone? Well I hope it's not the last one. I don't know what to do now though. It's like my anxiety somehow started purposely to get me out of this, ie. talking and getting to know people = having to go out.

Look on the bright side I suppose, I'm going to the pub with a load of people from work on Saturday so I guess that'll be the day I find out if I just want to curl up into a ball and die or not.
 
splosh

splosh

Member
oh dear, I crap myself out too when someone's says they'll call me later. Oh well, you seem slightly calmer this time, so hope it all goes well! And no, you're most likely not an stuck-up basted who doesn't care about other people, but I guess the anxiety can make one feel that that is the underlying issue. But really, exposure really, really helps, as it is with all fears.
 
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A

aj

Well-known member
I really hope your right :) I'll try to block out the not-wanting-to-do-it feeling but then again it may be easier now because I'm getting so fed up of saying goodbye to everyone and then going home and doing nothing every evening.

I'm still trying to join them under the bike shelter (!) but it's so hard. When I walked out today after 'hiding' behind the wall they were just coming in - if only I had moved 30 seconds earlier.

I'd tell her or someone (over the internet ;) ) what the problem is but I don't know what'll happen if I do, or if they'll understand. What do I even say? I wonder if it would even be fair because I'd be dumping a whole load of crap on them when I don't know what the hell I want them to do.

Saturday can't come quick enough!
 
Argamemnon

Argamemnon

Well-known member
My problem is that I don't like pubs etc. I don't drink alcohol either. I just want people to visit me for a talk or taking a walk with them.. things like that. Anyone feel the same? Do we really have to socialize in pubs or clubs. There are so many other things to do.
 
A

aj

Well-known member
Oh definitely. None of my family ever go to a pub to drink, and I have no real idea what it's like. It'll be in the day time anyway. And I won't be getting drunk because I'll be driving :) I won't ever have to do it again if I don't like it.

I have nothing against alcohol itself but I can't understand the idea of 'getting drunk'. I mean it's fair enough letting your hair down but why do you need to get away from yourself to do that? Is life that bad? :lol:
 
AsHLeY

AsHLeY

Well-known member
I think a lot of people use alcohol as a "social crutch," so that it's easier to manage in interactive situations. Alcohol is the easiest coping mechanism ~ it just loosens you up a bit so that you don't over-think everything you're going to say and it also makes ya laugh a little more...it helps me out from time to time, although even when I'm drunk as hell, I still know what I'm doing and I could never act like how a lot of people act ~ with no boundaries. It truly just "brings ya outta your shell" a little easier. Not to mention, when others are drinking around you, you feel a little more at ease because the attention is not on you ~ it's on the dude that's double-fisting to a horrible two-step. Lmao!
 
Moonie

Moonie

Well-known member
Awsome for you. I think I feel especially sorry for men with SA or shyness. I don't know how they muster up the courage to ask girls out! The only time I ever asked someone out I was realllly drunk and making a fool of myself. I asked him, "do you want to hang out sometime?" And he just said, "I don't know." LOL.
 
A

aj

Well-known member
I think I forgot to say one important thing Moonie... it was over Facebook :oops:

It turns out that tomorrow we're going to a place where they play pool, not the pub, so not only do I have to go, I might get dragged into playing too. I am absolutely bricking it, this is completely alien to me and I just hope I don't make too much of a tit of myself, doing silly things when I'm nervous. I'm going to end up either feeling more like one of them, or make everything a hell of a lot worse. Forget going out with one person, *that* sounds easy now!

Edit: It could be really interesting actually, back when I had friends I *did* do things with them (not quite a pool club though ;) ), but I always felt like a spare part, and I'm fairly sure that's going to come back again like it never went away. Ugh.
 
A

aj

Well-known member
Well I did it :)

Was unbelievably scared for most of it but next time it'll be easier because I've been to the place now. I did make a tiny bit of conversation but most of the time was still spent listening and not being able to find any way to join in.

But, still, I couldn't have done it without you :)

"This is it. This is literally it - the kind of thing people do when they're having a good time!"
 
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