Obsessing ruining relationships

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Fitchy

Active member
So I have been with this guy now for 9 months and he is the love of my life. I have thought I was in love before and whatnot but come to realize that was nothing. He is totally supportive of me and I am in counseling for PTSD and for OCD. I am completely open with him about everything and he is with me. We have had some rocky times and it has causEd more and more triggered anxiety on my end.

I notice this in every super close friendship or relationship I get to be so controlling. I think it's the fear of losing them? Idk but I constantly have to ask him the same questions about certain situations over and over again to make sure I am not being lied to.. I think because I had been abused in the past. I obsess over it constantly I know he isn't lying bt I fear I'm missing something. If I don't ask a billion times maybe I will miss an important detail.

I always think I'm being lied to by anyone I get close to. And I obsess. It ruins me and I obsess over so much more. Images and words can kill me as they repeat in my head over and over again. Just wondering if anyone els has or is experiencing anything similar??

I just don't know if I can ever stop this all I ever wanted was to be happy and I am more than ever with him. But my OCD kills me ! I don't know if I will allow my treatment to help me.. It's so hard. I'm so scared of nof worrying
 
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Fitchy

Active member
Its always been pretty bad but now that I'm really in love the feelings are more intense, feelings being anxiety. I'm doing cbt and there is a lot of homework which is paperwork trying to break down my obsessions and view them as realistic or not. We tried giving me scheduled worry time but then I began to worry about not being able to worry enough.. *sigh*

I am on 40mg of celexa and then buspirone two times a day.

Thanks for the responses btw.
 
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DragonFlight777

Member
Did you try making a list of all your worries, from the more insignificant and easy to deal with, to the hardest to face?
Then, you start with the easiest one and you think about it as much as you can, write the worst-case scenario about it with as many details as possible, and then read it out loud. Repeat the same thing with each of your worries until you feel you have exhausted all you can imagine and it doesn't affect you anymore. In the beginning it will be difficult and you'll feel very tempted to avoid imagining everything, but it time you will desensitize yourself and you will start feeling better and better.
 
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Fitchy

Active member
Do you think that can work for everyone?? I'm so scared of doing that it makes me sick to my stomach to think about.. But I know it could help.
 
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silent9love

Member
DragonFlight777 said:
Did you try making a list of all your worries, from the more insignificant and easy to deal with, to the hardest to face?
Then, you start with the easiest one and you think about it as much as you can, write the worst-case scenario about it with as many details as possible, and then read it out loud. Repeat the same thing with each of your worries until you feel you have exhausted all you can imagine and it doesn't affect you anymore. In the beginning it will be difficult and you'll feel very tempted to avoid imagining everything, but it time you will desensitize yourself and you will start feeling better and better.
Click to expand...

i think its not useful for everyone and depend on the degree of ocd on every person who suffer from
one exmple...for me..i have many and many thoughts and worries and this is difficult for me to make alist about
 
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