Obsessed with your appearance?

[LadyWench]

Is anyone else obsessed with the way they look? It seems like whenever my anxiety gets worse, I obsess more over my appearance.

You constantly think about how you appear to other people.
You constantly think about your flaws and what you should/can do to fix them.
You think you look "different" compared to everyone else.
You feel like you stand out and everyone is watching you or criticizing you.

Can anyone relate? Any ideas on how to cure this?

I should add that I consider myself to be an attractive person but I still think about how I could look better.

You constantly think about how you appear to other people. Yes, always. I wonder what people are thinking in terms of my looks, and whether or not they think I'm ugly.

You constantly think about your flaws and what you should/can do to fix them. All the time. I used to obsess about my face and my weight. I've pretty much come to terms with my face. It isn't THAT awful, and I can't really change it. I've just got to accept it. I hate the acne I get sometimes, though. Yuck. My body, however, is a different story. I hate it. I hate everything about it. I want to lose weight so badly, but I just have too many things in the way. I can't stay motivated. Hell, I can't even get motivated.

You think you look "different" compared to everyone else. Eh. Kind of. For me, I'm more of the type to compare myself to other women. If a woman is attractive, I know right away that she's better-looking than me. If she's got a nice figure, I instantly feel like sh*t because I'm overweight and short.

You feel like you stand out and everyone is watching you or criticizing you. I've felt this way a lot throughout my life. It's the reason why I used to always wear nothing but black clothing. I wanted to be invisible. I didn't want to take notice. I'm slowly coming out of that, though.

Anyway, sorry if I wasn't helpful. I know I wasn't. But yes, my point is that I can definitely relate to you. I hate everything about my appearance, and I wish I could change many things. I hate hating myself, though. I want to have confidence for once, and actually be proud of what I have. I only get one body - I don't want to despise it.

 

[EscapeArtist]

I get very obsessive about my appearance, but i'm learning to find the positive in my features. I have big issues with having breasts, don't know why, but as soon as I look in a mirror and realise this it's like I make an unconscious decision not to try to get myself out that door anymore. Something is just too humiliating... and this makes me very weight-conscious. I'm also quite obsessive about my hair. It must look messy, and not like I took any time on it, but at the same time must look good. Grrrr... I feel so hypocritical.

 

[Nervousbat]

Been having this problem ever since I finished high school and found tumblr. I can't blame a micro-blogging site for my insecurity, but I think it definitely intensified it. The bloggers on there are all so beautiful and I created expectations for myself of how I should look based on those amazing bloggers that I realize now years later are impossible expectations from where I stand.
I'm getting over a shopping addiction now and have wasted hours of energy trying to find the perfect outfit online. Everyday I tell myself I won't do it, I don't need it, but have caved in a bunch of times. I was not materialistic before I graduated in part because we all wore uniforms so I didn't have to worry about what to wear, but also because I didn't know of the existence of fashion blogs, and didn't read magazines. I love fashion now, and I love wearing nice clothes, but simultaneously I am extremely worried about looking bad and stress everyday over my appearance, worry that my clothes are too tight or too frumpy, that my hair looks bad, etc.

 

[Nervousbat]

This is definitely an issue for me. I wouldn't say I have BPD because I don't think I look that bad physically, just a little weird because of my facial expressions (Always feel like my face has a stoney expression on it, looks really worried or crazy or something) and sometimes if I become aware of this my facial muscles will twitch involuntarily, man that's annoying! But overall I don't feel like my physical appearance is completely abnormal. I realize now that most people have a physical feature that is really prominent, for me I have a slightly big and really pointy nose that makes my profile stand out, and I sometimes feel embarrassed about it. I've been called lots of animal names because of it. But I don't think it really looks that bad. I'm way more obsessed and worried about my hair and clothes. If I can't find anything to wear or get my hair to look right I won't go outside. I definitely want to get over this problem.

 

[elephant99]

Yep, 1000%. what hurts more is that it is constantly reinforced by other people how "wrong" and bad i look. i think i could accept the way i look but i don't know how to get used to the reactions i get; being treated like i'm not worthy of acknowledgement or being insulted and laughed at

 

[elephant99]

i don't know about curing, but on coping what has helped me is to say, so what? nobody owes it to anyone to be attractive. how i look is just how i look. it doesn't say anything about who i am or my worth.

the pain of spending your life trying to please other people- when you can always fall short and that approval is never guaranteed and always conditional- that is harder than to try and stop hating yourself and accept yourself. and the latter is more worth it.

 

[DanielLewis]

Yeah, I've noticed that too. When you have SA bad, oftentimes you're overly concerned about how you appear to others. It's not good. Now I just make sure I keep myself well-groomed, get ready in the morning, but after that there's no point in thinking about how I look for the rest of the day.