Not sure how to deal with certain thoughts?

[Remage]

I guess I will just list them since that seems to be the easiest way to do it. also I need a lot of reassurance on all the decisions I make don't know if that is OCD or not.

If i know deep down behind the cloud of ocd that I am not religious should I be?
I think that everything I do has deep meaning and it's God telling me to do something. I am pressured a lot religiously (evangelical) by the people I live with.
They are like my family but more like friends. the constant you'll go to hell if you do this scares the hell out of me more than any normal person. I'm so "morally" straight it hurts.

I know that when i pick up a baby or something I have to be careful not to think about it to deeply, because if I do then I have these intense thoughts of smothering the baby or killing it or something and I have the compulsion to throw it across the room or drop it and run away because I am so scared I might do that. Is that OCD because it scares me

I am super fearful of mind altering medication because of all the meds I had to take and didn't need which caused a lot of brain damage. I'm not sure how to deal with that or if there is a medication you can recommend. Because my brain has physically healed a alot I don't want anything that can destroy it again you know.

that's it for now if I can think of anything else I'll let you know

 

[fudgy]

If i know deep down behind the cloud of ocd that I am not religious should I be?

there are no rules and right now you probably need to put any religious decisions on hold.

I think that everything I do has deep meaning and it's God telling me to do something. I am pressured a lot religiously (evangelical) by the people I live with.
They are like my family but more like friends. the constant you'll go to hell if you do this scares the hell out of me more than any normal person. I'm so "morally" straight it hurts

god is not telling you to do anything , you aint that special my friend , none of us are .
forgive the slur on your family and friends but that kind of fanatical religious attitude it not only damaging its also very very wrong to make a person suffer at the fear of god , this is not what god is about.

I know that when i pick up a baby or something I have to be careful not to think about it to deeply, because if I do then I have these intense thoughts of smothering the baby or killing it or something and I have the compulsion to throw it across the room or drop it and run away because I am so scared I might do that. Is that OCD because it scares me

this is total and absolute ocd ..... very very common

I am super fearful of mind altering medication because of all the meds I had to take and didn't need which caused a lot of brain damage. I'm not sure how to deal with that or if there is a medication you can recommend. Because my brain has physically healed a alot I don't want anything that can destroy it again you know.

I think your probably right and you need to get some help from a therapist as opposed to more meds . which is just clouding you even more imo

your totally lost on a horrible world of ocd. Everything you said is very normal for an ocd sufferer .

 

[Remage]

that sucks ,_,

 

[Remage]

They gave me exorcisms and stuff and told me I was demon possessed :S. I try not to tell them but have in the past and they laugh at it like it's a joke I don't know how to explain it better

 

[Hellhound]

They gave me exorcisms and stuff and told me I was demon possessed :S. I try not to tell them but have in the past and they laugh at it like it's a joke I don't know how to explain it better

The people surrounding you are way too fanatic... Don't talk to them anymore about these things, they will probably associate everything with their delusional ideas and will hurt you even more. And they obviously don't take you seriously either. It's their problem, not yours. Try not to listen to them.

Have you been in therapy before? If you aren't comfortable seeing a psychiatrist, you should consider seeing a psychologist instead.

 

[ryder2010]

This is definitely OCD. You are a Pure "O" OCD sufferer like myself. I too have had fears of hurting children in the manner you have explained. My friend, you are not possessed , you are not a bad person, you have these thoughts because of a disease. Try to remind yourself that you may not be able to stop the thoughts, but you do choose how you react to them. I know this is not easy, I too suffer with you. You do need to speak with a professional. I recommend a therapist who specializes in OCD and anxiety disorders. Best of luck to you.

 

[Hannes]

Hi,

It sounds as if you are definately speaking from a very lonely place, but rest assured it is not as lonely as you might think. There are many people going through the very same "Hell" as you persieve yourself to be in.

The truth of the matter is that OCD is a mental disorder and therefore if you are opposed to meds, why not consider trying some very effective natural treatments such as mental exercises, relaxation techniques and even brainwave programming techniques which can help you to begin to reprogram the negative responses in your subconscious mind.

Hope it helps and all the best.

Hannes

 

[fudgy]

They gave me exorcisms and stuff and told me I was demon possessed :S. I try not to tell them but have in the past and they laugh at it like it's a joke I don't know how to explain it better

that kind of behaviour makes me sick ..... these are not friends ..

you have to start taking some responsibility for your own self and NOT allow these religious frieks to disrespect you like this , its like abuse for crying out loud !!