Not really 'straight'- can anyone relate in any way?

Scottish_Player

Well-known member
#4
All my life ive been questioned about my sexuality, through school. college and now work, its not in any nasty way its just people being curious, it really puzzles me because i cant see what it is i do to give out these ideas or maybe its somthing i dont do, like talk about woman all day and how i would love to [email protected]@G her and give her one and all that.

I even have a few profiles on line in the "straight" section but for some reason i always get gay guys sending me messages. I dont think i sound gay or act gay or even look gay and it does puzzle me as to why this happens.

Anyway thats just my 2 cents
 

Ayla

Well-known member
#5
I'm "bisexual".... I guess. thought I was lesbian for a while recently. sometimes I think I'm just a lesbian who likes to be with certain men. for some, sexuality seems so easy to understand and define; but there are those of us out there who have so much trouble just applying a label and making it stick.

we need to avoid the labels and focus on what we are as the most relevant thing. we like what we like - and we love who we love. those preferences might even change over time, who knows. we should just do what feels right and let others call us what they will.
 

Quixote

Well-known member
#7
I never talk about girls/dating and similar issues, but nobody ever thinks I'm gay, I guess anybody can easily see how uncomfortable with girls I am, which is proof I am not gay probably...

As for the topic of this discussion, I think it is quite normal for girls to feel attracted by older guys, they give a sense of security and they are stronger. Furthermore, you can often "trust" them more and they are not as stupid as most young guys (yes I put myself in the list) unfortunately are :)

The problem is how older than you you like them. 5 years is perfectly in the average, 10 is okay, 15 starts being a little too much but still acceptable, 20 is too much indeed.
 

lily

Well-known member
#8
Quixote said:
I never talk about girls/dating and similar issues, but nobody ever thinks I'm gay, I guess anybody can easily see how uncomfortable with girls I am, which is proof I am not gay probably...

As for the topic of this discussion, I think it is quite normal for girls to feel attracted by older guys, they give a sense of security and they are stronger. Furthermore, you can often "trust" them more and they are not as stupid as most young guys (yes I put myself in the list) unfortunately are :)

The problem is how older than you you like them. 5 years is perfectly in the average, 10 is okay, 15 starts being a little too much but still acceptable, 20 is too much indeed.
I don't agree by the way that you can necessarily trust older men more or that most young guys are 'stupid' or can't be as trusted, that would be a stereotype to me and isn't true. There are 2 arguments, one is that younger is more likely to cheat and older is settled and trustable vs. younger is actually innocent and trustable and older is more tricky and not innocent but I wouldn't choose to believe either one as that's a generalization and it can both be equally true and applied.
 

dazedandconfused

Well-known member
#9
Recently some people have been questioning my sexuality due to the fact that I haven't seriously flirted with any girls in about 3 months. I'm straight, but I just don't know what's going on. I used to flirt non-stop, but I've slowed down almost to a complete stop.
 

kattness

Well-known member
#10
If i were you i would put it to the back of your mind, just let life roll on and go with what you want.

When it came to my sexuality i spent so long trying to deny i was/am a lesbian.. it drove me all thinky for a while.

though it feels great to know who you are,its not worth even the thought
aka - completely agree with Ayla!

goodluck!
 

LemonKiss

Well-known member
#11
Ayla said:
I'm "bisexual".... I guess. thought I was lesbian for a while recently. sometimes I think I'm just a lesbian who likes to be with certain men. for some, sexuality seems so easy to understand and define; but there are those of us out there who have so much trouble just applying a label and making it stick.

we need to avoid the labels and focus on what we are as the most relevant thing. we like what we like - and we love who we love. those preferences might even change over time, who knows. we should just do what feels right and let others call us what they will.
Thank you. I feel lost and confused. Reading that made me feel less alone about it. There are other people out there like me...
 

LemonKiss

Well-known member
#12
jinxed said:
post deleted
Honey, how much older are you talking? Please keep in mind that in our not too long ago history, young girls would marry men much, much older than them. Please don't let our cultural boundaries and boxes let you define what's normal and what's not. You like who you like, for reasons you don't have much control over. There's one thing I am certain about: you can't help how you feel.

BTW, my guy I slept with was 7 years older than me. The guy I like now is 9 years older.
 

Thelema

Well-known member
#13
I like older girls. I'm really not ashamed of it. I've fallen in love with a woman that is 14 year older than me. She's who I love and I'm 18 and I don't need to answer to anybody. So you aren't alone in liking older people.

This may sound weird but maybe try looking at some gay porn. I seriously asked myself if I was gay one time and when I looked at gay porn that convinced me that I wasn't and looking back I was just lonely and frustrated with girls.

Since when is love about logistics anyway :wink:
 

Thelema

Well-known member
#14
jinxed said:
I know I'm definitely not gay Thelema, so that wouldn't work and I don't like porn but I can understand that it's only probably if you were curious.
I'm sorry. I thought this thread was about you questioning if you were gay and that you liked older men? :oops:
 

Thelema

Well-known member
#15
jinxed said:
Thelema said:
I'm sorry. I thought this thread was about you questioning if you were gay and that you liked older men? :oops:
no, it wasn't anything about questioning if I was gay but it's ok, thanks for your reply.
btw, Is what you like about older women similar to what I like? and I just wondered if there's a connection b/t divorced parents and not getting proper care and attention like a parent wasn't really there, can you relate to that?
I'm sorry Jinxed but are you a guy or a girl? I'm very confused for some reason.

I think so. My father was only around for a little bit when I was young and never saw him after I was around 10 or so until a couple years ago. My mother pretty much didn't parent me at all. She could never say no and because of that I pretty much made my own decisions when I was young. I think because of this I'm attracted to strong girls and they tend to be older. I'm attracted to the take charge kind of girl and I've always known this. I think I'm looking for more like a parent figure almost. I'm also attracted to girls my own age so it isn't mainly age.
 

Thelema

Well-known member
#16
jinxed said:
Thelema said:
I'm sorry Jinxed but are you a guy or a girl? I'm very confused for some reason.

I think so. My father was only around for a little bit when I was young and never saw him after I was around 10 or so until a couple years ago. My mother pretty much didn't parent me at all. She could never say no and because of that I pretty much made my own decisions when I was young. I think because of this I'm attracted to strong girls and they tend to be older. I'm attracted to the take charge kind of girl and I've always known this. I think I'm looking for more like a parent figure almost. I'm also attracted to girls my own age so it isn't mainly age.
It's ok, I'm a girl. And I was actually right about the divorced parents etc, that it could likely be true that is. Yeh I could probably like younger guys as well if I was looking, you never really know as I've had changes in opinions during the yrs.
For some reason I assumed you were a guy :oops: :oops: We are like those guys that like big girls or the girls that like tall guys. We're just a little stranger but we'll find somebody if we keep our eyes open.
 

Kinetik

Well-known member
#18
I'm not gay myself but I do occasionally find other guys attractive, and I'm one of the very few men I know who's okay with saying that. I do know that I'd never act on it because it's nowhere near strong enough for me to want to pursue. Gay porn does absolutely nothing for me either, so I'm pretty sure I'm straight. Older women are my preference too incidentally. What I like is the fact that many are really over the petty bullshit that comes with being the age I am. I see so much junk on the TV, like "The Real World" and I think to myself "I'm so far removed from that it's not even funny." I'm used to being somewhat intellectual, to thinking about things and appreciating some of the deeper things in life, while still occasionally having some fun. That happens to tie in quite well with a somewhat older partner. So yeah, it works for me.
 
#19
I don't know what I am....though I usually call myself "asexual"...I'm attracted to some males, some females......but deep down I know I'm meant to be alone. So I might as well call myself "asexual".
 
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