harvey said:
There are books out there on techniques for Small Talk - how to greet, opening lines, how to find topics to talk about, how to keep the conversation going (practice changing a yes/no question into an open ended question), etc.
Yeah I've read books like "How To Win Friends and Influence People" that have tips like that, and they tend to emphasise getting the other person to talk by asking questions. And yes that might keep a conversation going , but I'd like to be able to think of things to say that keep the other person interested, like remembering interesting things that happened to me, or something funny I saw on TV etc.
Sometimes I will watch a TV programme and then mention it to someone, and they will ask me what it was about, and I will struggle to tell them about it! It's like my mind goes blank and unless I sit down and think it through, I can't recount things easily.
I even struggle to remember a single joke. I remember once during a course I was doing for work, the instructor asked us all to tell a joke during the lunch break, and I was wracking my brain trying to think of even one! It's not that I don't remember them, because if someone tells me a joke I've heard I'll know, but I just can't dig it out of my memory banks and convert into words.
I think this is the key to my SA actually. I fear being in situations where I can't think of anything to say.