No Social Life...But My Choice

[TheMachinist]

I've always been a friendly guy with a great sense of humour who usually gets along reasonably well with most people. However, I never felt the need to socialise outside of school hours and these days outside of work hours. I've never had many close friends which hasn't helped but even with the few I do have I've never really wanted to spend any extra time with them than I have to. I do get lonely at times sure but I keep myself occupied by doing things that interest me. I've just never been bothered having the average young persons social life. Anyone else feel the same way?

 

[Starry]

I can realate, at school I was never particularly interested in socialising outside of school even with the "friends" I did have.

I've never had a particular draw to being "social." But at the same time I did want friends. Of course the good thing with not having a high demand for socialising is that my social phobia doesn't bother me particularly, because I don't want to be out socialising anyway. :lol:

Of course, that doesn't mean I want to be alone... On the contrary I very much value close friendships. I just don't feel a draw to less close, "social" friendships. (I know, it makes no sense...)

I've always been the sort of person who is happiest with just one, very good friend. I don't need or want anymore than that.

But, yes I can realate.

Welcome to SPW btw.

 

[TheMachinist]

Thanks for the welcome, it's good to be here amongst like minded people.
I understand totally what you mean. I have a few close friends at work, and sure we have a bit of a laugh and joke, it helps us through the day. But I have no interest in socialising with them after work, I'd simply run out of things to talk about. I'm just happy spending time by myself and doing things independently.

 

[ash_2001]

I've always been the sort of person who is happiest with just one, very good friend. I don't need or want anymore than that.

Ditto.

Opening up to one person is my limit.

Any more friends in my life and I start feeling guilty like they're just getting a half-a$$ed friendship treatment from me. A little odd, I know, but here's a stab in the dark: Anyone else ever get that feeling?

 

[rado31]

Hm, i m completely opposite. All my life i was DESPERATELY trying to fit in, to have a great social network , there was a time a had managed to make 50-100 acquitances( I called them friends) who seemed to enjoy my humour and company. But when i wasnt in such a talkish mood they vanished. I really thought i had friends.

I did that since it seemed completely unbearable to me that i would be so alone like these days. As a young kid i played with anyone, with gypsies, i didnt make any difference on status of people neither was judgmental. But it seems that i m different somehow , i really feel like a total outcast, there is still my old persona in me, but now i m full of presumptions, and i m a bit judgmental, i like to make quick conclusions on people, so i can prove that my lonely state was inevitable.

I m especially disappointed with a girls part. When i was 13 or 14 i was silly that i imagined to get know good 40 girlies in my life , and thatshow to find my soulmate. By getting know good i didnt think anything sexual, i just wanted to meet them. Somehow it didnt work out,i couldnt get close to any , like my personality is so doomed with this insecurity and shyness.
So, thatswhy i become avoidant, there is a litle vivid part of me who wants to hang on with some nice person , but i m not sure that i would now even recognize such if exists.

 

[recluse]

I've always been a friendly guy with a great sense of humour who usually gets along reasonably well with most people. However, I never felt the need to socialise outside of school hours and these days outside of work hours. I've never had many close friends which hasn't helped but even with the few I do have I've never really wanted to spend any extra time with them than I have to. I do get lonely at times sure but I keep myself occupied by doing things that interest me. I've just never been bothered having the average young persons social life. Anyone else feel the same way?

That's exactly how I am! I am introverted and I love my own time. I enjoy driving and I enjoy playing my guitar. At work I have a laugh with one or two people I have worked with for a long time, but outside of work I have no social life. I actually find that having a lot of people around me drains my energy, and most conversations are irrevelant and a chore. I would rather have one o'r two friends who are genuine than having lots of false friends.

 

[TheMachinist]

The thing is with me, at work I come across as a very confident and self assured young man. Sure, I still struggle for conversation sometimes but when I do I deliver it in a calm and confident manner. That's just me on the outside though. On the inside I feel as though I'm crubbling. Away from work I don't feel so confident, possibly cause I'm not around people other than my family. It's like I lead 2 different lives.[/url][/list]

 

[PhantomPod]

I feel as though I'm similar to you. I've never really had a need for friends. I mean, there were/are always times when I get lonely and really wish that I had a friend to do a particular activity with, and I get sad over the fact that I don't have a friend like that. But the majority of the time, I don't have a problem being by myself and I enjoy doing my own thing and entertaining myself.

All that I really long for is just one friend who shares similar interests with me, who I can do things with. Now, I'd prefer this to be a significant other, but just a very close best friend would be nice to have too.

 

[Predacon]

Yeah I can relate, after a day at school or work I've had about all the socialising I can take. I just want to go home and chill out by myself for a while and wheres the harm in that.

 

[LonelyGirl]

I'd love to have lots of friends and an active social life - but I don't
Lots of people think I enjoy my own company and don't mind being alone. What they don't know is that whenever I'm alone all I can do is think about how much I want to be with people.

 

[recluse]

I'd love to have lots of friends and an active social life - but I don't
Lots of people think I enjoy my own company and don't mind being alone. What they don't know is that whenever I'm alone all I can do is think about how much I want to be with people.

I'm the same but when I do get company all I can think about is getting time on my own, so maybe I'm not meant to be with other people?