no conversations with the opposite sex

[KJC]

I don't know

I don't know

 

[HeavyRain]

Entirely unfortunately
I always feel intimidated around males my age.
So I barely say anything to nothing out of fear it'll sound stupid when it comes out of my mouth.

 

[spider04]

I only had long conv with girls online
I had million chances to talk to girls and ruined them, and there's more to come but I'll try everytime

 

[Tiercel]

I used to be completely incapable, but I've improved to the point where I'm mostly incapable. I don't really know how I've improved, though, so I can't give you any advice.

Still, those conversations rarely last longer than a few sentences each. But at least I can say something before I scurry away.

 

[coyote]

The simple answer is...letting go.

Stop caring what they might think of you.

How?

Remind yourself that no matter what you do - you can't control what their reaction will be. Their judgements, their opinions, are products of their own minds.

Let go of things you cannot control.

Be who you want, and how you want - that is all you can control.

It's much more fun than trying to be what it is that you think you want someone else to want you to be.

 

[Toby]

..............

 

[DekKO]

I'm not unable to talk to the opposite sex, but I never really talk to any girls my age unless i've known them for a long time. I have a problem with starting the conversation because I feel that the only time they wanna talk to me is when they approach me themselves.

 

[boro]

At least with other males I can get legitimate points across if I have to

At least you can do that...I can barely even do that

 

[Tiercel]

I'm not unable to talk to the opposite sex, but I never really talk to any girls my age unless i've known them for a long time. I have a problem with starting the conversation because I feel that the only time they wanna talk to me is when they approach me themselves.

I'm the same way. Whenever I initiate a conversation with a woman I always feel like I'm bothering her. So I'm usually lonely, but afraid to remedy the situation. ::

Rationally, I know that if I was bothering someone she would most likely let me know, so I would just stop and go away. But I always feel like I'm a nuisance, and it's a bit more difficult to stop feeling this way. At least I make the occasional effort, though.

My bigger problem is not meeting women. The closest I come to "meeting" any is reading posts by female users on this site. Pretty lame, but I'm slowly starting to work on this problem also.

And it's not that I care what they think, coyote; it's that I care what I think and how I feel. My self esteem is in the sewer, so regardless of what I do I'll feel bad about it. Sometimes I figure I'll feel bad either way, so I talk to someone; yet every time I expect to screw something up, so I always do. Tricky things, human brains.

 

[Illusions]

I have a harder time talking to and making friends with males around my age. I just sort of don't really know what to talk about with them. Which sucks really, 'cause I'd love to have more guy friends and all.

 

[coyote]

I'm the same way. Whenever I initiate a conversation with a woman I always feel like I'm bothering her. So I'm usually lonely, but afraid to remedy the situation. ::

Rationally, I know that if I was bothering someone she would most likely let me know, so I would just stop and go away. But I always feel like I'm a nuisance, and it's a bit more difficult to stop feeling this way. At least I make the occasional effort, though.

Something to remind yourself in these situations is that many woman are just as interested in meeting someone, too.

For all you know - you may be exactly the guy they're hoping to meet.

You'll never know unless you say "Hi."

 

[coyote]

Tricky things, human brains.

Yes, I think we allow them to get in our way far too much.

The problem is that we put too much trust in our own brains.

Since they tell us so many useful things - like fire is hot, ice is cold, water is wet, etc. - we think we should believe everything else they tell us.

After all, it is our brain. We know ourselves. We know what is right. We know what is wrong. We know what we are capable of!

Or do we?

 

[lurknomore]

I actually have conversations with the opposite sex more easily than I do with the same sex... unless I feel like they're "interested" in me, which has been practically never. Then I get self-conscious and it's pretty awkward- at least for a while. My problem is finding those of the opposite sex that show interest in me (that are actually available ).

 

[spect01]

I know what it's like. When you've never even had a girl as a simple friend, you never get to learn how to talk to them. That's what happened to me.

 

[fitftw]

For all you know - you may be exactly the guy they're hoping to meet.

You'll never know unless you say "Hi."

This. I've been noticing this one girl at the gym for the last 3 months and have been too afraid to say a word to her. Today I was outside the gym after a good workout drinking my protein drink and HERE SHE COMES WALKING. Anxiety kicked in, I pretended to read the can, turned away and pretended to look at something in the parking lot........she came into my peripheral vision so I looked at her and all I could manage was a "hey" and a half-smile almost like I was scared to smile, which I guess I am...We caught eyes for a millisecond as she said hey, and then we both looked down (or maybe it was just me. I'm bad at eye contact).....now I hope it's not weird the next time I see her lol.