Newly Diagnosed AVPD
- Thread starter missjesss
- Start date
philly2bits
Well-known member
Sorry to hear that jess.
Knowing the problem is the first step to overcoming it though, so take solace in that. As for overcoming it I have no answers as I'm struggling with it myself.
Knowing the problem is the first step to overcoming it though, so take solace in that. As for overcoming it I have no answers as I'm struggling with it myself.
that's ok, I already knew I had it however I don't avoid everything and I do try to see people and my friends etc for as long as I can, the only thing that is absolutely debilitating and tormenting me now is that I wont change jobs where it involves interacting with more people and going back to study is somewhat a fantasy for me ...
Josette
Well-known member
I've heard cognitive behavioral therapy can be very useful for AvPD. I'm going to try it as soon as I can get a CBT therapist.
It's hard because you don't just have to deal with the SA, but the strong instinct to avoid. I have to actually make lists and plans and constantly keep reminding myself to do xyz. And when I find myself avoiding doing something, I ask myself 'why?'--a lot of the time, I realize it's not something I'm even anxious about doing, I'm just avoiding it for the sake of avoiding. The avoidance instinct is so strong.
It's hard because you don't just have to deal with the SA, but the strong instinct to avoid. I have to actually make lists and plans and constantly keep reminding myself to do xyz. And when I find myself avoiding doing something, I ask myself 'why?'--a lot of the time, I realize it's not something I'm even anxious about doing, I'm just avoiding it for the sake of avoiding. The avoidance instinct is so strong.
Yeah im making a commitment to see a psych ongoing for 2 years plus
I avoid everyday tasks myself I sometimes even forget About important things it's quite bad, I avoid almost anything unpleasant unless my bf is around to remind me or says something then ill do it but everything seems pointless when im home alone :/
I avoid everyday tasks myself I sometimes even forget About important things it's quite bad, I avoid almost anything unpleasant unless my bf is around to remind me or says something then ill do it but everything seems pointless when im home alone :/
Josette
Well-known member
I even avoid going inside my apartment! I will spend two hours sitting in my car reading, messing around with my phone, etc.
I have a full time job that I hate. I've been there 16 years as of May. I just can't face interviews and change, so I'm avoiding doing anything about it.
Forcing yourself to do stuff is really the only thing you can do (well, besides CBT which I gather changes your way of thinking--i.e. same end result). I used to avoid housework but I started forcing myself to do it and I've gotten to a place where some things are now routine and not avoided.
I'm trying to make some bigger changes now, and I'm having my therapist help hold me accountable. We make a list of things I'm supposed to do that week every week. Knowing that someone else is going to ask me if I've done xyz, helps keep the items in my mind and gets me to do them. It's a start.
awww really :/ mmm yeah phone/internet NOT GOOD FOR US HEY but so addictive
wow 16 years Ive been at my job almost 4 years and I'm going crazy !!!! what do you do for work?? does it involve much interaction with people, and with your therapy are you only seeing a psych? In my experience hypnotherapy worked wonders for me in regards to s.a and all those symptoms, confidence also I noticed a huge shift but in saying that you need to find the right person to do it with the right mannerism I think you should try it
I read somewhere that you find it hard talking to siblings? I did when my s.a was pretty bad but then after my hypno sessions that got heapse better at least with ppl I know thank god!
yeah keeping a journal or daily tasks journal would be a good idea for me...then u gotta get me to stick to it THATS THE PROBLEM and if I don't feel my life is good i wont do it :/
wow 16 years Ive been at my job almost 4 years and I'm going crazy !!!! what do you do for work?? does it involve much interaction with people, and with your therapy are you only seeing a psych? In my experience hypnotherapy worked wonders for me in regards to s.a and all those symptoms, confidence also I noticed a huge shift but in saying that you need to find the right person to do it with the right mannerism I think you should try it
I read somewhere that you find it hard talking to siblings? I did when my s.a was pretty bad but then after my hypno sessions that got heapse better at least with ppl I know thank god!
yeah keeping a journal or daily tasks journal would be a good idea for me...then u gotta get me to stick to it THATS THE PROBLEM and if I don't feel my life is good i wont do it :/
Josette
Well-known member
I do accounting (bookkeeping) and HR at a college. There's a fair amount of people interaction, and I'm ok with it. Only time I really have trouble at work is if I have to deal with "conflict" and sometimes if I have to ask for stuff. I hate making phone calls. I spend a lot of time researching stuff on websites so I don't have to get the info directly from another human.
My bigger problem is personal relationships. I can handle professional contact with people pretty much but on a personal level, there's much more anxiety, avoidance and general cluelessness about how it's supposed to be done. I've got a few close friends and some more casual friends, so I'm not totally alone but I don't feel comfortable calling people to chat--yes, even my own siblings--or to, god forbid, invite them to do stuff. So I end up never doing anything unless someone invites me.
Like you say, when I get depressed, it's REALLY hard to stick to the plan. I think medication will help with that. Do you take any? Ironically, taking my meds is one of the things I'm currently avoiding! I stopped 3 weeks ago even though I know they make me feel better. I can't even tell you why I'm avoiding swallowing one little pill. Every day I say I'm going to start up again but then I don't.
My bigger problem is personal relationships. I can handle professional contact with people pretty much but on a personal level, there's much more anxiety, avoidance and general cluelessness about how it's supposed to be done. I've got a few close friends and some more casual friends, so I'm not totally alone but I don't feel comfortable calling people to chat--yes, even my own siblings--or to, god forbid, invite them to do stuff. So I end up never doing anything unless someone invites me.
Like you say, when I get depressed, it's REALLY hard to stick to the plan. I think medication will help with that. Do you take any? Ironically, taking my meds is one of the things I'm currently avoiding! I stopped 3 weeks ago even though I know they make me feel better. I can't even tell you why I'm avoiding swallowing one little pill. Every day I say I'm going to start up again but then I don't.
wow so you obviously went to UNI then for accounting or college?? and graduated!?
OMG you sound like me when I was working at my receptionist job I HATED having to ask people stuff it was my last resort, especially if they have already explained it to me I would hesitate even more to ask them again... I don't mind making phone calls however when I had to do them when bosses walked by I hated that... I still wouldn't know how to deal with conflict!!
Personal relationships are hard for me too I'm not completely isolated either but I don't enjoy myself when I'm with friends sometimes even family it's horrible hey, I don't understand why relationships are so hard for us why can't we just be ourselves around ppl especially our own family!!
OMG you sound like me when I was working at my receptionist job I HATED having to ask people stuff it was my last resort, especially if they have already explained it to me I would hesitate even more to ask them again... I don't mind making phone calls however when I had to do them when bosses walked by I hated that... I still wouldn't know how to deal with conflict!!
Personal relationships are hard for me too I'm not completely isolated either but I don't enjoy myself when I'm with friends sometimes even family it's horrible hey, I don't understand why relationships are so hard for us why can't we just be ourselves around ppl especially our own family!!
Josette
Well-known member
Yes, I went to college. I dropped out for awhile due to the social anxiety and then went back and finished later. But my degree isn't actually in the accounting field. I just kind of drifted into this job. It actually started out as a Receptionist position, which was pretty much the worst position ever for someone with SA. Ugh. So glad not to be doing that anymore. Constantly having to ask people for stuff in that job.