Hi everyone, I'm new here and wanted to start out with a bit of an intro. My name is Marie and I'm very much a "socialphobe". I'm almost 30 years old, still living at home, working a dead end job, no driver's license.... I'm basically living as pathetic of a life that one would ever live.
Along with all that, I've never experienced a first kiss, a first date, a first boyfriend, etc. I do have a few reasons for that. I am "lucky" enough to have PCOS. For those of you don't know, this is a horribly degrading health issue among woment. It basically causes our hormones to be way out of whack, most of time it causes us to have extra body hair that normal women don't have. It can also make it very difficult for us to lose weight. So basically, at the moment I feel very unattractive as an overweight, extra haired, ugly mess. This, as you might expect, causes self esteem issues and I have an extremely difficult time talking to people in general, let alone guys that I like.
The thing is, I recently met this guy who seems to be interested in me. Of course I'm probably reading way to much into it. He could just be being nice to me. He does work in a business where customer service is a big deal, but I've seen him a few times in the past while I'm with other people and he seems to focus in on me. He will talk to the other people I'm with, but on a few ocassions he has gone out of his way to talk to me alone. Our discussions have been brief and never about anything personal, it's just the typical how are you stuff. The thing that's really getting to me is that there's something about this guy that I'm just falling for, and hard! I can't get him out of my head. For the past week I wake up thinking about him, day dream about him during the day, and then think about him some more while I try to fall asleep. For some reason I just really feel comfortable around him (even though we have a large gap in age difference - he being older). I feel as though I probably could carry out a conversation with him and get to know him better if we could have more time. I don't know if he's married or not. He doesn't wear a ring, but I know of a lot of married people who don't either. I do know that he has at least 3 children. If it turns out he is married I know I have to stop fretting over him as hard as it will be. I just don't know how to really strike up a normal conversation. I want to let him know subtlely that I'm interested in him, but I fear rejection and getting hurt. I've had enough of that in my life already. I just want to be loved, accepted, and to be happy. I don't think it's asking to much, but so far apparently it has been.
Sorry for rambling. I more or less wanted to vent to people who don't know me and who probably have experienced the same thing.
Along with all that, I've never experienced a first kiss, a first date, a first boyfriend, etc. I do have a few reasons for that. I am "lucky" enough to have PCOS. For those of you don't know, this is a horribly degrading health issue among woment. It basically causes our hormones to be way out of whack, most of time it causes us to have extra body hair that normal women don't have. It can also make it very difficult for us to lose weight. So basically, at the moment I feel very unattractive as an overweight, extra haired, ugly mess. This, as you might expect, causes self esteem issues and I have an extremely difficult time talking to people in general, let alone guys that I like.
The thing is, I recently met this guy who seems to be interested in me. Of course I'm probably reading way to much into it. He could just be being nice to me. He does work in a business where customer service is a big deal, but I've seen him a few times in the past while I'm with other people and he seems to focus in on me. He will talk to the other people I'm with, but on a few ocassions he has gone out of his way to talk to me alone. Our discussions have been brief and never about anything personal, it's just the typical how are you stuff. The thing that's really getting to me is that there's something about this guy that I'm just falling for, and hard! I can't get him out of my head. For the past week I wake up thinking about him, day dream about him during the day, and then think about him some more while I try to fall asleep. For some reason I just really feel comfortable around him (even though we have a large gap in age difference - he being older). I feel as though I probably could carry out a conversation with him and get to know him better if we could have more time. I don't know if he's married or not. He doesn't wear a ring, but I know of a lot of married people who don't either. I do know that he has at least 3 children. If it turns out he is married I know I have to stop fretting over him as hard as it will be. I just don't know how to really strike up a normal conversation. I want to let him know subtlely that I'm interested in him, but I fear rejection and getting hurt. I've had enough of that in my life already. I just want to be loved, accepted, and to be happy. I don't think it's asking to much, but so far apparently it has been.
Sorry for rambling. I more or less wanted to vent to people who don't know me and who probably have experienced the same thing.
