SoulSeeker
Banned
Hi everybody..im new here.
The reason i found the place is because my original board SAUK is down at the moment. Im completely housebound..and im lost without that board..so i came here. I think i recognize a few people..Remus and Saskia from my Youtube channel.
I suffer BDD and SA which completely dominate me..i never get a break from the constant self conscious thoughts. I very rarely leave my room..and never leave my house. Suffered for 10yrs now and im emotionally drained. Tired of missing out on life, relationships etc...yet not being able to do anything about it..because the inner thoughts i have outweigh everything else..and the fear keeps me trapped inside of my room.
Im currently on a waiting list for CBT..but im not confident it will work..i viciously avoid anything and everything...death, weddings, everything..so i find it hard to believe going to see a therapist once a week with homework to do is going to get me out of this nightmare.
For the above reason..im now seriously considering signing myslef into a mental hospital..so as they force me to function on a daily basis..for months on end..until i 'get it' and i become used to it.
At the moment i dont function at all. I get up, shower, return to my room, lay on my bed with my laptop ALL day, then sleep. Day in day out, week in week out, monthy, yearly.
I cant go on like this for much longer..my soul is slowly dying..and there isnt much fight left in it. Im tired. :
:
The reason i found the place is because my original board SAUK is down at the moment. Im completely housebound..and im lost without that board..so i came here. I think i recognize a few people..Remus and Saskia from my Youtube channel.
I suffer BDD and SA which completely dominate me..i never get a break from the constant self conscious thoughts. I very rarely leave my room..and never leave my house. Suffered for 10yrs now and im emotionally drained. Tired of missing out on life, relationships etc...yet not being able to do anything about it..because the inner thoughts i have outweigh everything else..and the fear keeps me trapped inside of my room.
Im currently on a waiting list for CBT..but im not confident it will work..i viciously avoid anything and everything...death, weddings, everything..so i find it hard to believe going to see a therapist once a week with homework to do is going to get me out of this nightmare.
For the above reason..im now seriously considering signing myslef into a mental hospital..so as they force me to function on a daily basis..for months on end..until i 'get it' and i become used to it.
At the moment i dont function at all. I get up, shower, return to my room, lay on my bed with my laptop ALL day, then sleep. Day in day out, week in week out, monthy, yearly.
I cant go on like this for much longer..my soul is slowly dying..and there isnt much fight left in it. Im tired. :
:
