Hi, i'm paul a 27 year old who has always been shy. The last few years i've noticed how i blush badly in social situations. I cannot imagine giving a public speech or being the centre of attention. I guess my girlfriend notices that i go bright red for no reason but we've never spoken about it. We are getting married in the summer and unless i change it could be a social disaster. Any advice would be hugely appreciated. Many thanks,Paul
new here, getting married. Help!
- Thread starter pault8084
- Start date
Well, don't invite anyone. Weddings and marriages - or ceremonies in general - are a waste of time and energy - so, make that day most pleasant by simply not doing it in public. No such formality will ever decide about the happiness in your relationship. And it's nobody's business whether you marry or not. And this "being with the person you love for the rest of your life" stuff is just nonsense, especially at the beginning. A day of torture isn't worth it at all. Only at the end of your life will you know whether she was the right one.
Novella Ray
New member
Try to keep the marriage small if you can. I had my marriage in the summertime out in the country. I felt less confined by doing it outside actually.
You probably will blush, but don't worry about that. It's a big day and even my husband blushed (and he isn't shy). Concentrate on the important thing. That crowd? There is no reason to even look at them. Once you hit that room, stare at your bride. No one expects you to smile or wave at them. Throughout the ceremony just stare at her or the priest, it's what most people do anyhow.
My marriage was not nearly as bad as I thought it was. It wasn't until it was over and I looked at the crowd that I realized how brave I had just been.
You can do it! If I can do it, anyone can do it. It's the ceremony cake and conversations afterward that were harder, but I kept my husband close and I was okay.
You probably will blush, but don't worry about that. It's a big day and even my husband blushed (and he isn't shy). Concentrate on the important thing. That crowd? There is no reason to even look at them. Once you hit that room, stare at your bride. No one expects you to smile or wave at them. Throughout the ceremony just stare at her or the priest, it's what most people do anyhow.
My marriage was not nearly as bad as I thought it was. It wasn't until it was over and I looked at the crowd that I realized how brave I had just been.
You can do it! If I can do it, anyone can do it. It's the ceremony cake and conversations afterward that were harder, but I kept my husband close and I was okay.
Paul, I can only say that I sympathize with you. I'm also 27 years old and getting married is one of my biggest fears..because of that blushing. Luckily or unfortunatelly:
: I don't have such problems yet beacuse I first must find someone. I wish you all the luck and hope that people here will give you some good advices to you.. because I don't know any sorry
BlueDays
1
Am I right to assume that your bride to be does want a marriage ceremony? If this is the case, and there is no way you can out of it (family expectations etc), i suggest that you treat having to go through the whole Wedding ceremony as your "gift" to your girlfriend.
Just keep your focus on her. Keep reminding yourself throughout the whole of the Wedding that you are going through it because you LOVE her. Try and forget about worrying what everyone thinks for just this one day and focus on your girlfriend, as your "Wedding gift" to her.
Just keep your focus on her. Keep reminding yourself throughout the whole of the Wedding that you are going through it because you LOVE her. Try and forget about worrying what everyone thinks for just this one day and focus on your girlfriend, as your "Wedding gift" to her.
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Thanks serafina and thank you very much for the positives. We're getting married in a church which is next to her parents house and then reception in big tipis (yes, pointy tents) in her parents orchard. I did tried to get her to do things in a smaller way but she's had her heart set on a proper wedding and my mental issues shouldn't gt in the way of that
DownInAHole
Well-known member
Take a beta blocker an hour before the wedding.
I have the same issue as you btw.
I have the same issue as you btw.
Dronee
1
You can try having a smaller sized wedding and inviting only the very closest friends and family members. This way, you're mostly around people you're already familiar with. You can also try to delegate some of the planning and other things like catering to a close family member or friend who is willing to help out. This way, you have less things to focus on.
today someone from our local parish phoned and said she'd been told what a lovely couple we are and would we mind doing a speech on valentines day at church about why we're getting married and love. That's too much for me right now to stand in front of a churchfull of people but maybe one day i'll have the confidence
I'd definitely talk about it and everything else before you two get married.