Never warm up to some people

[TheNewZero]

This happens to me with random people all the time. I never really understand how to jump the gap between acquaintance and friend. It seems huge to me, and when I think back to the friends I had in the past, I can never understand how or why we became friends.

The problem I'm having with this at the moment is my in laws. I moved to the UK a year ago to live with my husband, and all of his relatives live nearby. They're all really nice people but I'm really uncomfortable being around them. Especially his mum, she's so nice and always wants/offers to help out but I always decline because I don't feel comfortable with her in the house. I lived with her last year for 5 months and now we have dinner with her once a week- all this time and I still feel really awkward and uncomfortable around her. I feel like she thinks I hate her or something because I'm always overly polite and never say anything to her unless she asks me something. I recently noticed that a lot of the time when I want to tell her something I say it to my husband in front of her, I never talk directly to her. It's horrible, I feel so bad about it and I feel like its never going to change. If living with her in a small bungalow for 5 months didn't break the ice, I don't think anything will.

Anyone else totally confused about how to become friends with people?

 

[lurknomore]

I seem to never really "warm up" to people either. I have some acquaintances at work that I can sort of chat or joke around with, and I've known them for many years (been working at this job for 13 years), but I'm not really sure how you jump from that to actual friendships either. I just talk to people at work- I don't see or talk to anyone outside of that, or get invitations to do anything outside of work.

I was talking to my sister about my lack of connections, and she said that there is a "window" when you meet people where you either bond with them or you don't. I told her I don't bond with anyone, and she just said, "Hmmm, that's weird." I'm not sure how long the window is, but it makes sense that if you don't "hit it off" with someone after a certain period of time, then it's just not going to happen (or at least be very difficult).

 

[Hoppy]

I have difficulty with my parents.