milo2020
Active member
sorry if this is going to look long and borring, you don't need to read everything...I just don't know who to talk to about my problem...I just like some advice...
I just find speaking to people being talkative a challenge, I get mind blank and never know what to say to people, I can do small talk "how are you fine thanks oh what a weather etc. etc.) but beyond that it's like I'm thick, I don't really know much or just dont know what to say...but when I force myself to talk I jumble up and sometimes mix words and they don't make sense, it's like I cant speak English or something....
and another thing...my voice goes very low, but even if I try to increase it it's like they cant hear what I'm saying, I tried talking to this guy I was working with at the farm yesterday, as soon as I started speaking, just saying ohh the rain's back again he couldn't hear me! ...so I just say nothing just few words when ever spoken too (ask where's what etc)
why is this?
and I hate it when my dad tells me to help the guy as soon as he said that I just felt awkward, just that feeling in the back of my head that I'm going to do something stupid like I did back in college, where everyone in my group always complained I was doing something wrong...
I went to the Philippines with my mom last year, and there was this time when my cousin kept staring at me and asking why are you so quiet? there were other people that said that too as if I'm meant to be talkative...and I just didn't know how to answer that question...then I said I don't know what to say and she said "just talk, use your brain!" am I just slow in the head?
when we went to Singapore she asked me at Universal Studios "why you not so lively, screaming like that?" ...I just don't know...I'm just scared if I do that people will look at me and think I'm an idiot! or just one of those brits
she looks at me as if she was very embarassed of me especially when we went to meet my uncle from US who I just did not have much to say, it's like I couldn't get all the words out of my head...only later when he's gone I think about what I could've said....and I say silly or stupid things all the time...like I have no brain...
I don't know why I am not lively bubbly out going talkative person, I wish I was!
not just with her...when I was always the quiet one since school, and college a loser! but I seem to have got worse after I left college at 18....
the guy helping on the farm was in college with me years ago he was 21 I'm 23 nice guy but talkative and easy going (like an "adult" compared to me) like my dad said to my mom once he's a completely different person to me....which is true most people seem to act more like an adult and I'm like a 15 year old...I'm hopeless most of the times compared to them they seem to know everything...lots of people my age have a job confident got a gf and are not like me, they seem to be bright, and as my cousin would say "lively" makes me ashamed and depressed really
I feel awkward slow and stupid....it's like my brain doesn't function well and I want to get out of this bubble..
I just find speaking to people being talkative a challenge, I get mind blank and never know what to say to people, I can do small talk "how are you fine thanks oh what a weather etc. etc.) but beyond that it's like I'm thick, I don't really know much or just dont know what to say...but when I force myself to talk I jumble up and sometimes mix words and they don't make sense, it's like I cant speak English or something....
and another thing...my voice goes very low, but even if I try to increase it it's like they cant hear what I'm saying, I tried talking to this guy I was working with at the farm yesterday, as soon as I started speaking, just saying ohh the rain's back again he couldn't hear me! ...so I just say nothing just few words when ever spoken too (ask where's what etc)
why is this?
and I hate it when my dad tells me to help the guy as soon as he said that I just felt awkward, just that feeling in the back of my head that I'm going to do something stupid like I did back in college, where everyone in my group always complained I was doing something wrong...
I went to the Philippines with my mom last year, and there was this time when my cousin kept staring at me and asking why are you so quiet? there were other people that said that too as if I'm meant to be talkative...and I just didn't know how to answer that question...then I said I don't know what to say and she said "just talk, use your brain!" am I just slow in the head?
when we went to Singapore she asked me at Universal Studios "why you not so lively, screaming like that?" ...I just don't know...I'm just scared if I do that people will look at me and think I'm an idiot! or just one of those brits
she looks at me as if she was very embarassed of me especially when we went to meet my uncle from US who I just did not have much to say, it's like I couldn't get all the words out of my head...only later when he's gone I think about what I could've said....and I say silly or stupid things all the time...like I have no brain...
I don't know why I am not lively bubbly out going talkative person, I wish I was!
not just with her...when I was always the quiet one since school, and college a loser! but I seem to have got worse after I left college at 18....
the guy helping on the farm was in college with me years ago he was 21 I'm 23 nice guy but talkative and easy going (like an "adult" compared to me) like my dad said to my mom once he's a completely different person to me....which is true most people seem to act more like an adult and I'm like a 15 year old...I'm hopeless most of the times compared to them they seem to know everything...lots of people my age have a job confident got a gf and are not like me, they seem to be bright, and as my cousin would say "lively" makes me ashamed and depressed really
I feel awkward slow and stupid....it's like my brain doesn't function well and I want to get out of this bubble..
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