Nerves getting the best of me today

[cowboyup]

I'm a nervous wreck today. My jaw is tight, neck and lower back are hurting. I took 1/2 valium...did nothing. My heart feels like it is going to pop out of my chest. My right arm is tingly/numb like feeling. My thumb has been twitching, muscle spasm-like, I guess. And I feel like I am on the verge of a major panic attack.

I babysat my nephew for close to 11 hours yesterday. I'm exhausted, frustrated, and right now, I don't want anything to do with people "on the outside" - I want no contact with people right now, no desire to talk to anyone. Basically I just want to be left alone.

Tomorrow, the sister in law goes into the hospital to be induced. Right now they are frantically going about getting lose ends tied up before the baby's arrival. Her family is going to be here for 2 weeks. I'm hoping that will take some of the pressure off me for a bit ....

I can't sleep at night and if my nephew calls my name and wants his auntie one more time today, I'm going to loose it. I love him dearly but I feel so smothered. Maybe that is what is wrong with me right now, I just need to be alone to recalibrate my mind and body.

I have no point in this post really, just letting off steam and thought writing my feelings would help put perspective on it, meh. I don't know.

and so it goes.

 

[JuiceB]

Don't worry, go ahead and vent. Get everything off your chest. I know exactly what you're feeling, well maybe not exactly it's close. I want to throw my flat-panel out the window somedays. I ended my day yesterday by just taking a soak in a hot bath to relax before going to bed. That made me feel somewhat better after having my little "crisis" yesterday.

 

[kilojoule]

Im sorry youre having a tough time atm.

 

[cowboyup]

^^ Thanks, Juice & Jewel.

lol, my nephew is in my room right now pounding on a play xylophone. My head might explode at any given moment ...