Hello All,
This is my first post on the site. I've found it quite useful over the past few weeks, and I'm trying to force myself to be more social, especially with women. However, I have a rather confusing situation at work. I'm not expecting a definitive answer here, but getting the opinions of people who understand where I'm coming from will be useful.
Basically, there is a girl I work with who I have a bit of a crush on. My workplace is quite small, not even 10 employees, so obviously I didn't think it appropriate to make a move... and I'm too shy to do so anyways! Shortly after she was hired (maybe 9 months ago), we would often have shifts that overlapped for a few hours. She made a point of talking to me, and being in general quite friendly and asking lots of questions about me. After a month or two, she'd start making excuses to be near me at work. She'd come and sit beside me when it was quiet, or stand by me while I was doing filing, etc. Now, I didn't think anything much of this, as she has a boyfriend. But she never talked about him, other then when he first asked her out. After her initial training period, she wasn't really scheduled to have an overlapping shift with me anymore. So I maybe see her for 10 or 15 minutes a week now.
More recently, I had a death in the family, and she sent me an email offering her condolences. But she also called me to see how I was doing or if I needed anything. I wasn't expecting this, as most of the people I worked with offered their condolences, but didn't seem too concerned about how I was doing. She seemed genuinely concerned. She also made a point to say that she knows we're only coworkers, but that she considers me a friend. Every once in a while now, she'll ask me when she will see me again... which strikes me as odd given that we don't really work together anymore, and if she wanted to know, she could just check the schedule! I'm at a loss for what to do about the situation. If she had been single, I would've thought she liked me, and wanted to get to know me better. But she's not... and I have her on facebook, and as far as I can tell, she's quite taken with her boyfriend.
I only have a couple of female friends, and I have had lots of trouble trying to work up the courage to ask someone out in general... every time I get rejected makes it harder and harder. I've never had a girl show any interest in me in the past, so I'm not really sure what signs I would be looking for. This just feels different then the few friendships with women I've had. Am I just misreading the situation completely, or is it possible that her relationship with her boyfriend isn't as close as it appears? Any thoughts or comments on this situation would be appreciated. I feel quite comfortable talking to her though, so I might actually be able to ask her out for coffee or something simple. Thanks in advance!
This is my first post on the site. I've found it quite useful over the past few weeks, and I'm trying to force myself to be more social, especially with women. However, I have a rather confusing situation at work. I'm not expecting a definitive answer here, but getting the opinions of people who understand where I'm coming from will be useful.
Basically, there is a girl I work with who I have a bit of a crush on. My workplace is quite small, not even 10 employees, so obviously I didn't think it appropriate to make a move... and I'm too shy to do so anyways! Shortly after she was hired (maybe 9 months ago), we would often have shifts that overlapped for a few hours. She made a point of talking to me, and being in general quite friendly and asking lots of questions about me. After a month or two, she'd start making excuses to be near me at work. She'd come and sit beside me when it was quiet, or stand by me while I was doing filing, etc. Now, I didn't think anything much of this, as she has a boyfriend. But she never talked about him, other then when he first asked her out. After her initial training period, she wasn't really scheduled to have an overlapping shift with me anymore. So I maybe see her for 10 or 15 minutes a week now.
More recently, I had a death in the family, and she sent me an email offering her condolences. But she also called me to see how I was doing or if I needed anything. I wasn't expecting this, as most of the people I worked with offered their condolences, but didn't seem too concerned about how I was doing. She seemed genuinely concerned. She also made a point to say that she knows we're only coworkers, but that she considers me a friend. Every once in a while now, she'll ask me when she will see me again... which strikes me as odd given that we don't really work together anymore, and if she wanted to know, she could just check the schedule! I'm at a loss for what to do about the situation. If she had been single, I would've thought she liked me, and wanted to get to know me better. But she's not... and I have her on facebook, and as far as I can tell, she's quite taken with her boyfriend.
I only have a couple of female friends, and I have had lots of trouble trying to work up the courage to ask someone out in general... every time I get rejected makes it harder and harder. I've never had a girl show any interest in me in the past, so I'm not really sure what signs I would be looking for. This just feels different then the few friendships with women I've had. Am I just misreading the situation completely, or is it possible that her relationship with her boyfriend isn't as close as it appears? Any thoughts or comments on this situation would be appreciated. I feel quite comfortable talking to her though, so I might actually be able to ask her out for coffee or something simple. Thanks in advance!
