Need help with this

[Emma]

I have a problem that needs fixing.
A few years ago I went camping with my friends and my boyfriend at the time, and he was my friends cousin.
We had a disagreement over something I did, and I refused to back down on the subject, so he pulled out an axe and he threatened me with it, and for some reason instead of running off, I took a step towards him and he swung it at me to hit me with it, and it really frightened me so I ran for it with one of my friends.

Later on we came back and he was in the tent, and He was staring at me and I cursed at him, later our other friend came back (his cousin) and asked what happened and I told her and said he was a freak and a bully, and then he got really upset and shut the tent and started crying really loudly, so I felt really bad and went to talk to him and he grabbed me by the throat and started strangling me. I got away and cried and my friend helped by putting ice on my throat.

Later he was still crying so I stupidly went to see him again and he pulled me in the tent and started slapping me and telling me what a bad girl I was and that I would not be leaving the tent that night and I was to stay with him and I would shut my mouth and stop crying (I was crying pretty hard by then)

He let me out for a minute later and then my friend heard him calling out my name and told me I had better go back in there before he did something stupid, so I went back and he accused me of drinking, which I don't, and just kept hittting me and hitting me, and I got so hysterical I actually passed out, and no-one came to help me at all, and when I woke up he was on top of me, I don't know what he had planned on doing, but lucky I woke up.

Anyway, the only other person who knows is my sister and she says its my fault and I should just get over it and forgive him, but I just can't ever, am I wrong in thinking that the person who had every intention of hurting me does not deserve my forgiveness, Is she right or me?
I still think about it and I just can't forget it, and I can't believe my friend just left me there and ran off with her boyfriend, Did I deserve it?

 

[Starry]

You most certainly didn't deserve to be treated like that. It's not your fault! I'm so sorry you went through that. *Hugs*

But you need to forgive and move on for your own peace of mind. Carrying around resentment and hatred will only eat you up inside. Forgiving and letting go will release you from that. Think about it as forgiveness to help you, not him. YOU deserve the peace of mind.

 

[Richey]

Emma im sorry you had to go through that.

Forgive him?

How could you speak to him again after he physically hit you on repeated occasions, respectful guys dont hit girls for starters its just wrong, you deserve better then that.

you need to report him to the police because thats damaging to you.
unless you dont want to make an issue out of it

dont associate yourself with people who are violent even if you care about them unless they are family related and even then its wrong.

im not sure why your sister would say to "forgive him" how could she say "its your fault" if he was hitting you ...if he hit you and i was your brother i would have chased him down and and beat him within an inch of his life for not only hurting a female, but because you were a sister/family member(metaphorically)

my advice is to choose your friends wisely, only hang out with people you trust and know, thats not right at all emma.

your friend who left you there when you passed out is NOT your friend, friends dont behave like that, a friend would have run to your support and helped you, if it was me in your shoes i would have simply told them both to "Rot in Hell and that i wont be talking to them again" ....thats not how friends behave

i hope your enjoying xmas at least without having to deal with that sort of crap from people

 

[plainsofserenity]

Emma;
don't belittle yourself by thinking you have to have anything to do with this guy ever again. I don't know what the fight was about in the first place but regardless his actions were not only demeaning and bullying but, as suggested above, criminal.
Who's wrong here? your EX-boyfriend (no explanation needed), your cousin for suggesting you go back in the tent (my god, where was her head?), your sister for figuring it was your fault (it is never your fault that someone hits you with an axe - if it wasn't so serious it would be laughable that someone would suggest otherwise).

Forgive and forget? you don't need to do either. (If you do forgive, do so for yourself. There is no reason to forget. In fact I'd say don't forget or he may get the opportunity to threaten your life again. (You are lucky to be alive after being hit with a hatchet and chocked and slapped around.)
Anger is a legitimate emotional response to an perceived injustice.

Rarely in life are you right and everyone else in the situation wrong. Relish in the thought that this is indeed one of though time.

 

[Shonen_Yo]

100% his fault.