My world of :If Only

[BreakingFree]

If only I knew what misery my avoiding people in childhood would cause me
If only I did not shut myself away when family or people came to our house for a visit
If only I seeked out people more and not only preffered my own company. Why not go visit school friends,family?
If only I did not pretend that at time when being in people's company I was this confident person knowing how to interact and converse. It was all a show and I still carry that false pretense today.
If only I faced up to those uncomfortable moments in social situations and not just ran away from them, I would have been better of today.
If only I was perhaps more open with my problem, I would have had family support.

Today, I have to undo all the If Onlys. What a task and not an easy one! I have to undo many years of unhealthy behaviour patterns. One more if only, but a good one! If only there is someone I can confide in and walk this road with, it will make the road I have to walk on so much lighter. I know I have to do all the work, but the knowledge that someone is there and rooting for you!Oh what joy! Instead I have this big secret to keep! Or am I fooling myself!

 

[Helyna]

I like your username, and I think that was a very good post. It's probably good to know what you did wrong... but that doesn't mean that you can't fix it now. And you're here, so you can confide in any of us! It will help to share.

 

[Stoochy]

yeah good work!

but i must say although I was shy when i was young,but i alwys socialized with people and friends and family, so im realy puzzled..still..how i became an sa'er..

 

[tpdarlo]

In hindsight you can make these observations but at the time (being unaware you were creating a problem) there's nothing you could have done. You were doing what your brain found comfortable. You have the right mindset now though, tackling those "if only"s one by one is the key.

 

[recluse]

The dreaded ''if only''..Hindsight can drive a person mad and i am one person who thinks ''if only'' I envy the people who only live in the present and don't look back at the mistakes they have made.

 

[BreakingFree]

Thanks for the good words and encouragement. I am battling on and my hope is to win the war! :lol: