My thoughts get lost.

[izimbra]

When I was a kid and my parents tried getting me to talk about my grades, I couldn't explain it.

"I can't say."
"You can say it."
"No, I REALLY can't say."

I scared them. And it just made it more pathetic. It was just that the panic became so concrete that nothing could come out. Psychological constipation, lol

Someone tried to explain it to me, saying that if I just breathe, it'll come out. But that's not how it works with my parents. When it turned out that I really couldn't explain my bad grades to my parents my dad threw something and sent me to my room. And then we didn't talk about it again.

I know my problems are because of them or whatever, but I don't know how to get over it. Anything that can cause anxiety such as getting a job, going to school, or moving out just stop happening. I don't think about it. I can't. Well, I know I can, but when this happens I can't. It's just... "hey this is going to cause a lot of shame and embarrassment!"

 

[Ravens]

I can very much relate to your circumstance, and to some extent the frustration my parents felt as a result.
I am very much a procrastinator, and I will avoid awkward situations far more than face up to them, though this has improved over time.
A big part of my getting better came as I realised I was getting older and was going nowhere (I was housebound for a long time), it scared me, enough to do something about it. In my case it was going back to college.

You do have it within yourself to make changes, small at first which lead to ever bigger changes. What will work to motivate you I couldn't say, I think perhaps it's different for everyone. I spent many years avoiding my problems, pretending they weren't there, distracting myself as best as possible, and while it may have kept me "sane", it also kept me locked in this ridiculous cycle until I couldn't avoid it any longer.

I'm by no means cured, and I feel like despite improvements I've still got a long way to go, but there are things I can do now sometimes barely giving it a thought, which would have been a complete no no in the past.

Take the plunge. Whether we do it now or later, it's the only way forward to search for true happiness in the future, and none of us are getting any younger.

 

[Helyna]

Have you tried to write down your thoughts instead? Maybe try to get one thought at a time and write it down.
Sometimes, it feels like I have so many thoughts in my head that they can't get out (even into words in my mind). Like if a hundred people are jammed against a doorway, nobody is getting through. I think this is the kind of feeling you're talking about. So maybe if you focus on one thing at a time, it will help. Also, if someone's asking you to explain, they should understand if you say that you need a moment to get your thoughts together or you won't make any sense.