FriendlyShadow
Well-known member
I'm not the least shocked that my speech therapist sends me amateurish advice on how to meet people. I keep explaining to her that kids have been mean to me(in gym where all the people were shouting at me to do something so that I couldn't concentrate on what I was doing.) She said "Well that's what kids always do." And she acts like I should get over that?????? I should get over how people have treated me and build my stupid confidence to try and meet people. A good question for to ask is how people usually think mean people don't know any better. Now, I'm trying to get into her head that I don't really want to be bothered with anyone now. I'm pretty sure the only reason I felt the way that I needed to speak to my friends was because of my mom because she couldn't handle the fact how I was so different apart from the family, how I can't initiate in long conversations. It's all bull! I don't know if I do want friends or not, I don't think I even need them anyways. The only reason I'm seeing this therapist is because my dad is paying for her, apparently he probably thinks I am weird just as well as having this disability type. She says I have to be more open with people and I'm always going to meet new people wherever I go. Are people really this clueless? Do I have to write down a big list of what people have been doing/saying to me so that they can have a clear image of what's really going on? Should I buy a tape recorder and record the whole tape hidden of how these people treat me? I'm thinking she's just giving me some non professional talk about nothing(I'm not trying to offend her or anything, she's nice and all, but she and really most people don't know what I have been going through for 2 reasons. 1. They weren't there when none of it happened to me. 2. They are not me. So I still ponder as to why people understand, try and understand I should say, but they still aren't listening. They deny everything of what happened to me and want me to act like it's partially my fault I won't do anything about it. If I stand my ground I lose. If i'm nice to others, I lose. If I make mistakes, I lose. Losing after losing after losing that's what it is. I lost attempts to even be human and to try and learn to do what's right.) I don't know why people like her are obviously speaking from what society wants them to say. It's all about society. I swear she even said "You know, growing up in this society, you are going to have to talk to people and have friends." I don't know. Maybe I surrounded myself with too many "normal people" that they feel that is the right thing to say. My other therapist wasn't so great either, I mean she did help me with some things, but she kept telling me similar stuff as opposed to what my speech therapist is trying to get me to believe. I just can't buy into any of it. She's also telling me stories about how she was in school and how she met her friend, and kept telling me if her friend didn't talk to her, then she would have never knew anything about her ect. She goes "I'm not saying you have to be out there, but just to talk to people." Oh yeah, it makes sense. It's also a way of contradicting again. I can't say that enough because they do it, and they try to hide that they are and deny it. I don't get it. Maybe they don't know it, but they don't know how they sound like, they can't realize the words they are saying coming out of their mouths. It's almost like a person lying, even to themselves, and they actually believe what they are saying is what this all sounds like to me. It's all a lie. These are the types of people I'm talking about because they don't understand, they never understand, they just believe what they WANT to understand. They don't care what I think, they disregard that and in a way putting words in my mouth. I'm sick of it and I think it is unacceptable. Hopefully, if I can stop seeing her after our session will end in time, I will. forget everything she had said and PRETEND to understand what normal people are coming from, It'll be the best way to avoid getting more lectures from my family, even my mom.
