Hi,
so, as you can see, I am pretty new here. I have been reading around here for some time though. Anyway, I would like some advice from you people. I feel a bit bad asking for help with my problems because I think my situation is not as grave as most here but hope you won't mind.
So, well, I will (more or less) quickly describe my situation, it's going to be a bit long, please bear with me. I am a 19 year old boy and I think it all started around 3 years ago. Not quite sure about the time as my memory is generally blurry. So, there are certain situations when my body goes a bit on the crazy side. What happens most of the time: Heartbeat going up, feeling hot (probably getting a red head, though I never saw myself at those times), irregular breathing and a lot of sweating. The sweat is by far the worst part, it's quite a lot, mostly on my face and upper body. Sometimes enough so it literally drips on the floor.
Now, in my mind, I am rather calm at first. I don't feel especially uneasy until these symptoms start. Then, however, it's a spiralling thing. When I notice the sweat, I am getting more self aware and think that people probably think that I am strange and stuff, so I feel nervous, making me hotter and sweat more. On a side note, you will probably agree that other people in fact at least find it a bit weird and that it's not just in my head. Luckily, it often stops by itself as surprisingly as it started. Even though the situation itself didn't change, I feel better and my body relaxes. From there on I am only very tense but nothing much to worry about, even though, in some cases it can come back again. Anyway, at the time when it happens, it's still very embarrassing and makes me feel very uneasy. It's hard to predict when it happens but I made this little list:
When I am
-in front of a class/bigger group explaining something or reading out loud (Happens nearly all of the times)
-meeting strangers and talking about myself or having to explain smth. (Happens often, though not all the time)
-with anyone who gives me the feeling that I am doing something wrong or not doing something I am supposed to do even though it is easy/obvious (Happens sometimes but not always)
-around people I know, when talking about my personal life or similar things(Happens sometimes, often it's fine or not as bad)
-with family(Happens very rarely, most of the time it's fine)
The strange thing is, I often realize that I am being in two very similar situations, one time I am having big difficulties and the other time I am relaxed. So I often get surprised by my own body's reaction. Except for the first point (in front of groups), I normally approach these people/situations with a positive feeling, thinking everything will be fine and I won't react strange in any way. Also, just a few hours after I went through such an experience, I am looking back and thinking, if I was there now or tomorrow, I would handle it just fine. Often that's wrong and I will react the same again later. One more thing, I am rather introverted but don't mind so much. I would just like to be more secure in those social situations.
So, I am not sure if this even is social phobia. It certainly isn't a very severe case. What do you think? Also, I thought about getting professional help but wonder what they could help me with. So far I didn't want to get help, partly because of pride, partly because of scepticism.
This has been the first time I told anyone but it is good talking about it, in a way. Thanks for reading
so, as you can see, I am pretty new here. I have been reading around here for some time though. Anyway, I would like some advice from you people. I feel a bit bad asking for help with my problems because I think my situation is not as grave as most here but hope you won't mind.
So, well, I will (more or less) quickly describe my situation, it's going to be a bit long, please bear with me. I am a 19 year old boy and I think it all started around 3 years ago. Not quite sure about the time as my memory is generally blurry. So, there are certain situations when my body goes a bit on the crazy side. What happens most of the time: Heartbeat going up, feeling hot (probably getting a red head, though I never saw myself at those times), irregular breathing and a lot of sweating. The sweat is by far the worst part, it's quite a lot, mostly on my face and upper body. Sometimes enough so it literally drips on the floor.
Now, in my mind, I am rather calm at first. I don't feel especially uneasy until these symptoms start. Then, however, it's a spiralling thing. When I notice the sweat, I am getting more self aware and think that people probably think that I am strange and stuff, so I feel nervous, making me hotter and sweat more. On a side note, you will probably agree that other people in fact at least find it a bit weird and that it's not just in my head. Luckily, it often stops by itself as surprisingly as it started. Even though the situation itself didn't change, I feel better and my body relaxes. From there on I am only very tense but nothing much to worry about, even though, in some cases it can come back again. Anyway, at the time when it happens, it's still very embarrassing and makes me feel very uneasy. It's hard to predict when it happens but I made this little list:
When I am
-in front of a class/bigger group explaining something or reading out loud (Happens nearly all of the times)
-meeting strangers and talking about myself or having to explain smth. (Happens often, though not all the time)
-with anyone who gives me the feeling that I am doing something wrong or not doing something I am supposed to do even though it is easy/obvious (Happens sometimes but not always)
-around people I know, when talking about my personal life or similar things(Happens sometimes, often it's fine or not as bad)
-with family(Happens very rarely, most of the time it's fine)
The strange thing is, I often realize that I am being in two very similar situations, one time I am having big difficulties and the other time I am relaxed. So I often get surprised by my own body's reaction. Except for the first point (in front of groups), I normally approach these people/situations with a positive feeling, thinking everything will be fine and I won't react strange in any way. Also, just a few hours after I went through such an experience, I am looking back and thinking, if I was there now or tomorrow, I would handle it just fine. Often that's wrong and I will react the same again later. One more thing, I am rather introverted but don't mind so much. I would just like to be more secure in those social situations.
So, I am not sure if this even is social phobia. It certainly isn't a very severe case. What do you think? Also, I thought about getting professional help but wonder what they could help me with. So far I didn't want to get help, partly because of pride, partly because of scepticism.
This has been the first time I told anyone but it is good talking about it, in a way. Thanks for reading
