my social anxity killing me

[amin]

hi

i would like to describe what ever i feel , and see how close what ever i feel to every one in this great forum.

1) very low confedance
2)always watching people and alert , and feel likepeople talking about me or if i heard some one laughten i feel it's about me and thats makes me stressed :evil:
3)impossible to response to calls and if i did my voice tune is weard
4) usually ignore people that i dont know and try to avoid them
5)people that i know try to avoid them too , but if they talk to me i usually talke back
6)impossible to attened meetings and avoid parties and stuff like that
7)cant look at people face to face , always my face down
8 when talking to my close friend alone i seem normal, but if we are in crowed iwon't be able to concentrate in what we are talking about.
9)three people gathering impossible , i feel uncomfortable
10)i loss my self when talking to stranger and i act like idiot
11)angry most of the time, my driving style agrassive
12)always feel like in defence mode and ready for fight if i suspect some one say or humliate or tried to fool me around no time for thinking or ditenguish between joke or not

 

[june]

I think that we all have some of those same feelings, I know 2-6 are things I really struggle with.

 

[exuser01]

Here is my countdown....

#10 I can't make eye contact.
#9 I have trouble making new friends or meeting new people
#8 I'm affriad to speak when I'm around a group
#7 I blush too much
#6 I smother the friends I do have
#5 I have low self confidence
#4 I can't keep friends
#3 I suck at speaking to girls
#2 can't be myself in public
#1 Pete Rose bet me I wouldn't do it

So we are kinda similar.

 

[Quixote]

Here is my countdown....

#10 I can't make eye contact.
#9 I have trouble making new friends or meeting new people
#8 I'm affriad to speak when I'm around a group
#7 I blush too much
#6 I smother the friends I do have
#5 I have low self confidence
#4 I can't keep friends
#3 I suck at speaking to girls
#2 can't be myself in public
#1 Pete Rose bet me I wouldn't do it

So we are kinda similar.

Exactly the same except for number 10, which I don't have anymore (I just forced myself to stare into people's eyes until I desensitized, if that is the word) and number 1 which I have no idea what it means but I suppose it is not so for native speakers of english :?

 

[exuser01]

....number 1 which I have no idea what it means but I suppose it is not so for native speakers of english :?

It's a reference to a tradition on Letterman.

 

[amin]

MrrightNow

some stuff you said i forget to write them down , like having problem even more with girls , don't know why . also most of things you write simial to what i have , but you guys i am going to retair early becuse my Government (Qatar) helps people like my case and can retire as early as 20 years old - my intrivew 3 weeks from now - i didn't go to work for last one month - and one thing more i cant stay in my work desk more than 10 minuts i keep walking and then come back to my desk what the heck is this... and people make fun of it around me , some one told me that's afeeling of being uncomfortable. i forget one thiog more why do i keep smilling to people (that's not me)- do's it means low self steam or personality problem. i am on seroxat (paxil) and i thing i am going to stop it , gived me sever constpition , i have to see my doctor soon although this med cute down social phobia to low level and deprisson to mild

 

[siana11]

I can relate:

Low self esteem
difficulty making eye contact
hard time making friends
afraid to answer the phone
afraid of saying something stupid or voicing my opinion in a group of people
dislike being the center or attention
feelings of being judged and disliked by others
If I'm invited to a social event, I think of any excuse to avoid it because I imagine embarrasing myself or not having anything to say

 

[rainy512]

I can totally relate. It's hard for me to even be around my family for long periods of time. If I go visit my mom or sister or someone else, I can't have a conversation with out having to walk out of the room right in the middle of a sentence. I recently left my husband because of a drug problem and I have 2 kids and I need to get a job. I'm scared to death and cry myself to sleep everynight. I sometimes think they might be better off someone else.

 

[ozkr]

hi

i would like to describe what ever i feel , and see how close what ever i feel to every one in this great forum.

1) very low confedance
2)always watching people and alert , and feel likepeople talking about me or if i heard some one laughten i feel it's about me and thats makes me stressed :evil:
3)impossible to response to calls and if i did my voice tune is weard
4) usually ignore people that i dont know and try to avoid them
5)people that i know try to avoid them too , but if they talk to me i usually talke back
6)impossible to attened meetings and avoid parties and stuff like that
7)cant look at people face to face , always my face down
8 when talking to my close friend alone i seem normal, but if we are in crowed iwon't be able to concentrate in what we are talking about.
9)three people gathering impossible , i feel uncomfortable
10)i loss my self when talking to stranger and i act like idiot
11)angry most of the time, my driving style agrassive
12)always feel like in defence mode and ready for fight if i suspect some one say or humliate or tried to fool me around no time for thinking or ditenguish between joke or not

Seriously ,I feel like you read everyone's mind here.
The "defense mode" (or point 12) is what makes me more cynical and frustrated every day. I just don't know if people is laughing with me or at me anymore,so I just play it safe by keeping staying away or keeping everyone away from me.

 

[iris]

I blush too much. way too much.
I have no confidence whatsoever.
I sweat too much. I have serious problems when we play "The Human Knot"
I can't speak fluently in class.
I can't speak to cute boys without blushing furiously.
Anyone have a remedy for this?

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

Hi,
I also share most of those symptoms, although I tend to go through cycles of having some and then having others.

I think that sometimes I can get rid of many of them, but then I can 'slip' and it seems to degenerate somewhat and then I experience more symtoms.

For example, A few months ago I lost my second job that I've had in about 5 years. I could keep a basic hold on the anxiety I felt working there and lasted for 6 months. But I developed another 'neurotic fear' -this time it was that the music being played would 'get to me' too much and that my emotions would all 'show up' to embarass me. ...This fear of this happening -of course- meant that that is exactly what happened. It got silly. And the worst thing about being silly is knowing that you are being silly but still being and feeling that way.

...It was bad: people thought (and called) me 'crazy' -and they were the nice ones. Others saw me as 'stupid' and perhaps 'emotionally disabled' of some sort. I was insulted in this way right before been given the sack. And even before then, there was (of course) one particular person, the self-appointed 'workplace psychopath' (as my sister calls them) who took it upon himself to demoralise me and do his best to destroy whatever positive attempts and efforts I made. He only added to the pressure and anxiety that I was already dealing with.

...But, during this time, I started to get even more worried about my anxiousness -as in, worried that it would 'show-up' and that others would sense it and react badly to it. ...My anxiety has never been so acute or distressing (and I've had it in some form for my whole life). Since then, I would even feel uncomfortable and tense around my own family. Hypervigilant to where they were, and somehow 'anxious about feeling anxious'.

The horrible part is that when I build-up my own sense of calm, esteem and competence, there is this little part that isn't somehow convinced -and if I ever get overwhelmed by what's around me, all of a sudden I spiral out of control emotionally. And I have to start all over again. And it's this 'spiralling-out' of my emotions, that keeps me worried about losing control so much. Like as if my emotions are on a really delicate balance -swing a little too much one way and control is lost and my emotions go haywire. How much work and how hard is it to get a grasp over such a delicate thing as my emotional balance.

I'm also sometimes too touchy towards others' opinions and criticisms. And I occasionally find that I am too 'needy' of positive affirmation from a person who normally gives me support. It is these two that I dislike the most. It makes me into someone I don't want to be even more than simply an anxious type.

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

...one last thing. I never really had trouble with boys. If anthing, I've probably relied on a lot of my social self-esteem from them. Sometimes I used flirting to get over my shyness and over-sensitivity. But otherwise, I struggle to seem to be less introverted and so easily sensitive to everything and everybody around me.

 

[iris]

A cute guy would come up to me, and I'd start blushing furiously. Then I'd start sweating profusely. And we won't even be talking about sensitve topics. He could be asking about school, and I'd still blush. I've tried breathing deeply. It doesn't help me much. This also happens when I get called on in class. It really sucks. :x

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

Don't mean to ruin your illusions, Iris, but some people would actually consider that cute . Think of it like this: a lot of men love the thought that some girl/woman would gush over them. One of the reasons why this is true is because it shows that they can have an effect on you. Maybe you should see it in a positive way; and instead of being embarrased, be proud of it. It is cute!

...also, if you accept it as a fundamentally nice part about you, you'll probably find it easier to control when it becomes more excessive and therefore less apropriate. ...I think it's very, very sweet though. -Who told you that it wasn't?!! :?:

P.S. I just realised that you (and others here) are Americans. ...Well, remember Scarlett O'Hara. She would actually purposely try to blush and look embarrased! ...A gift like that should be respected and embraced . ... :wink:

 

[Kitywhisca]

Yep...I have all of those you listed.

 

[red_reagel]

I feel the same way, but I dont think I'm really so bad. Good luck! if anyone can get through SA, then I'm sure you all can.

1.Can't look people completely in the eye
2. Frequent use of computer instead of going out with friends/Declining invitations
3. Afraid to talk out or ask questions in class
4. Always feel like someone's watching me
5. Major discomfortable feeling in society, especially at school.
6. Afraid of intimacy with new people. <----i really dont mind this or if I get friends. I just wanna talk without feeling weird for once.

 

[Thelema]

A cute guy would come up to me, and I'd start blushing furiously. Then I'd start sweating profusely. And we won't even be talking about sensitve topics. He could be asking about school, and I'd still blush. I've tried breathing deeply. It doesn't help me much. This also happens when I get called on in class. It really sucks. :x

If a girl blushed when I talked to her I would see it as cute.

 

[superz]

have you ever thought about the reason?

as far as I am concerned ,it is genetic reason

 

[vacantxsyren]

I completely understand what you mean

Here is my countdown....

#10 I can't make eye contact.
#9 I have trouble making new friends or meeting new people
#8 I'm affriad to speak when I'm around a group
#7 I blush too much
#6 I smother the friends I do have
#5 I have low self confidence
#4 I can't keep friends
#3 I suck at speaking to girls
#2 can't be myself in public
#1 Pete Rose bet me I wouldn't do it

So we are kinda similar.

Oh my god, every single one listed .. especially #9 ..

 

[2Crowded]

Does anyone here get real angry when you think people are following you too close on the highway... so much so that you turn down your mirror so you can't look back at them & get madder? Do you think they are singling you out for some reason?

Howbout avoid an intersection that has a 4-way stop sign & alot of traffic so you don't have to stress about the confrontation of who go's first?

Or when you come to a main road & you want to turn left but decide to go straight because other cars are approaching the main road from the oppisite way.

When you glance in your mirror at a stoplight & notice the people behind you looking forward at you & then they look at each other & laugh, Do you get mad inside because you think they are laughing at you?

Just some of the things (not all of the things) that bother me. I also feel like alot of the other things listed too.