My possible OCD and Schizophrenia mix

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Vecis

Well-known member
Hi there!
I am 21. old student from Latvia. I am suffer of multiple problems: math difficulty, mysophonia, schyzotypical disorder. In this year I discovered I might had OCD too. Its not completely compulsive, rather obsessional. My rituals are regular turning off electric machines that make noises and using decorative chain and maps to predict future events. I also use books to answer questions what I don't know. I use book numbers as ice hockey scores if book number is 70 (7:0) its means yes, if 07 (0:7) its means no. Its sounds silly really but I cant stop doing it.

I am obsessed with violent thoughts, about hurting someone. I regularly think about one weird friend of mine who I had tough argues with and cant stop thinking I could do revenge to him. I am also thinking about love, but I am regular loser in this field, I could love three women in one time and not talk to any of them.

My vision of future is violent I see civil war, violence and have ever returning thought that I could use this to became an evil leader like Stalin. I constantly see violent absurd dreams, when I am chased by someone or are together with famous leaders from the past.

When this bad, I see hallucinations like black cats, blood and phantoms mostly wearing hoods with no faces. I have heard voices, ordering me to join Rasputin, telling something about life and calling me a traitor.

I know there is no way you can help me I just share my confession to feel better.
 
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V

Vecis

Well-known member
I have been used doctors and meds and use them every day. Somehow those pills never cured me. I really don't relay on meds because I am afraid of too much intoxication. But thanks anyway.
 
Hellhound

Hellhound

Super Moderator
Vecis said:
I have been used doctors and meds and use them every day. Somehow those pills never cured me. I really don't relay on meds because I am afraid of too much intoxication. But thanks anyway.
Click to expand...

But only meds? Maybe you need both, meds and seeing a psychologist. Sometimes meds themselves don't do much.
 
Newestnewbie

Newestnewbie

Member
Hello Vecis,

Thank you for sharing your story. As a side note, I am trying to learn Russian so if you know any, "Zdravstvui!"

I think you could benefit from some form of therapy to help you deal with your issues. That way, maybe your dreams won't bother you anymore and you will be able to stop the rituals.
 
V

Vecis

Well-known member
Hellhound said:
But only meds? Maybe you need both, meds and seeing a psychologist. Sometimes meds themselves don't do much.
Click to expand...

Yes that may help. Thanks.

Newestnewbie said:
Hello Vecis,

Thank you for sharing your story. As a side note, I am trying to learn Russian so if you know any, "Zdravstvui!"

I think you could benefit from some form of therapy to help you deal with your issues. That way, maybe your dreams won't bother you anymore and you will be able to stop the rituals.
Click to expand...

Zvdravstvui! to you too. I am not Russian, but there is so many Russians around me its hard not know Russian.

I could use those things you suggested if only I had time and money. I have to finish my studies and those mental issues are really getting in the way. Plus I spend all my summer fighting cancer type problem, finally get it fixed maybe after that I can summon on my mental health.
 
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