skygazer
Member
Hi,
i am a 25 year old working in a respectable well paying job
As a child, i was deprived of lot of things that a normal child deserves.
Firstly , my mother passed away when i was 5 years old. After that i was forced to live with my abusive and apathic grandparents. They were by nature rude and abusive and were constantly picking up fights in the neighbourhood. My needs were never fulfilled and my feelings and opinions were never respected. On the top of it, they used to make up stories about my bad behaviour.They hated me because i was a liability for them.
I protested and cried and raised my voice against my ill treatment. But they did not seem to even acknowledge my existence. I always wanted to vent my anger and helplessness to my father. But he stayed in a far off town and visited my grandparents only thrice in a year. I never got a chance to speak with him but i knew he would be upset with me if i spoke to him about this.
In school, i met many boys and girls who were by nature good.But I was very uncomfortable in their presence as they were all rich and were privileged with parental affection.They had their own families who loved and cared and fulfilled all their wants. I felt embarrased to mingle with them as i knew i will never live a happy life like them. At times i used to imagine about my life if my mom were alive.
I still remember how my uncle used to abuse me and hit me hard on my face. He used to say that you were not born to your mother but you were picked up from the roadside dumpster. It was extremely painful for me to cope with this and i used to cry my heart out in a lonely corner of that house where no one saw me crying.
My elder sister was fortunate in this matter, he stayed only 2 years or so with me at my grandparent's house. She got to stay with my father most of the time. She never understood my chagrin and continuosly ridiculed me for my grumpy and seemingly idiotic behaviour.
The aftereffects of this kind of unstable and threatening atmosphere are terrible and even after 8years when i started living in a normal environment, i am severely disabled. I have many problems like below
1) Severe lack of self esteem and self confidence
2) Totally dysfunctional social life
3) Unable to create emotional attachment with people and events
4) Lack of interest in all good things in life
I feel that i cannot operate normally in society becoz my upbringing was full of deprivation. I dont want to let anyone know about my weak points and harm me using that.
i am a 25 year old working in a respectable well paying job
As a child, i was deprived of lot of things that a normal child deserves.
Firstly , my mother passed away when i was 5 years old. After that i was forced to live with my abusive and apathic grandparents. They were by nature rude and abusive and were constantly picking up fights in the neighbourhood. My needs were never fulfilled and my feelings and opinions were never respected. On the top of it, they used to make up stories about my bad behaviour.They hated me because i was a liability for them.
I protested and cried and raised my voice against my ill treatment. But they did not seem to even acknowledge my existence. I always wanted to vent my anger and helplessness to my father. But he stayed in a far off town and visited my grandparents only thrice in a year. I never got a chance to speak with him but i knew he would be upset with me if i spoke to him about this.
In school, i met many boys and girls who were by nature good.But I was very uncomfortable in their presence as they were all rich and were privileged with parental affection.They had their own families who loved and cared and fulfilled all their wants. I felt embarrased to mingle with them as i knew i will never live a happy life like them. At times i used to imagine about my life if my mom were alive.
I still remember how my uncle used to abuse me and hit me hard on my face. He used to say that you were not born to your mother but you were picked up from the roadside dumpster. It was extremely painful for me to cope with this and i used to cry my heart out in a lonely corner of that house where no one saw me crying.
My elder sister was fortunate in this matter, he stayed only 2 years or so with me at my grandparent's house. She got to stay with my father most of the time. She never understood my chagrin and continuosly ridiculed me for my grumpy and seemingly idiotic behaviour.
The aftereffects of this kind of unstable and threatening atmosphere are terrible and even after 8years when i started living in a normal environment, i am severely disabled. I have many problems like below
1) Severe lack of self esteem and self confidence
2) Totally dysfunctional social life
3) Unable to create emotional attachment with people and events
4) Lack of interest in all good things in life
I feel that i cannot operate normally in society becoz my upbringing was full of deprivation. I dont want to let anyone know about my weak points and harm me using that.