My Own Personal Prison

[silentfrost]

Hey All,

This is my first post in these forums and hope for many more!

I just had my first psychotherapy session on Friday for treating SA and depression. I am also very confused.

Has anyone ever experienced being scared that they are going to get better? I feel like I have been depressed and SA for so long that it has become part of who I am. Now I am trying to change my personality and its really scary.

I was watching the movie Shaw shank Redemption last night and something that was said chilled me. "When you first get here you hate the prison walls, then you get used to them and eventually you depend on them." Have I built my own mental prison from which I cannot escape? I don't know what to do.

Regards,
Tom

 

[Sad-Kitten]

Hey, welcome to the forum As for your question, I have only had two sessions so far. Although i feel much better about it, it can be very scary because part of getting over SA is having to change,going outside of what makes you feel safe. So yeah you do kinda get used to being in your "prison". Don't give up! Its going to be scary but keep at it

Good luck!

 

[Twirl]

Absolutely. Without fear, my SA wouldn't exist. I fear everything. So, I guess it makes sense then that I fear a life w/out fear. Silly though, isn't it? :/

 

[nephatitus]

heck even i have created my own mental prison but it got boring so i somehow added a new persona who doesnt even notice me, or is it the other way around?

 

[kayelle]

Of course. I think everyone has that fear. You desperately want to be better, to have a life 'outside', but it seems terrifying at the same time. Unfortunately, that feeling will stay for quite a while. I'm in recovery at the minute from pretty bad agoraphobia and that feeling is actually getting worse the more things I do. But I don't mind that, I know that I'm going to keep pushing myself and pushing myself and one day it will be better.
You just need to work really really hard I'm afraid. Not give up because of that, and push through the bad days.
That fear WILL go away.