My mother is judgmental

[dannyboy65]

It seems everything I do my mom has to notice and make a rude comment about it. She does this in front of my friends and family, sometimes my family comment on what she said. I was eating and she looked at me and told me my stomach was to big I have to lose it. I'm aware my stomach is big and I'm working on eating healthier and such. She also calls me greasy if I roll out of bed and didn't have a shower yet she makes a comment. I'm sick of it, I'm sick of her pointing out all of my flaws like I'm supposed to be perfect. It's not fair and it hurts me she basically calls me gross and fat.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

She's probably just worried about your health and hygiene, and doesn't realize how harsh her comments sound to you. Do you talk to her about how it makes you feel?

Maybe she could just turn the dial down to a seven or eight when she's advising you.

 

[dannyboy65]

She's probably just worried about your health and hygiene, and doesn't realize how harsh her comments sound to you. Do you talk to her about how it makes you feel?

Maybe she could just turn the dial down to a seven or eight when she's advising you.

I know she is doing it cause she cares but she doesn't have to comment on a flaw every time I'm around her.

 

[Diend]

it's similar to my mom. she doesnt understand that just because she gave birth to me, she doesnt have the right to talk to me in that way. i am already aware of a lot of the things i need to change. i am curious about how to change her behavior because she always raises her voice when she tells me which disorients me as i am sensitive when people raise their voice to me.

 

[dannyboy65]

it's similar to my mom. she doesnt understand that just because she gave birth to me, she doesnt have the right to talk to me in that way. i am already aware of a lot of the things i need to change. i am curious about how to change her behavior because she always raises her voice when she tells me which disorients me as i am sensitive when people raise their voice to me.

My mom just acts like the comment didn't hurt me and then carries on with it and makes it worse and out of proportion.

 

[AtTheGates]

idk..I suppose some parents think that its their kids job to reflect their parents completely so they can brag about them...like they think their kids are supposed to be like trophies to make the parents look good at dinner parties and whatnot.


OR it could be that she's simply just concerned about your health.

 

[dannyboy65]

idk..I suppose some parents think that its their kids job to reflect their parents completely so they can brag about them...like they think their kids are supposed to be like trophies to make the parents look good at dinner parties and whatnot.


OR it could be that she's simply just concerned about your health.

I think it may be a bit of the wanting me to look good because I'm over weight but not extremely over weight.

 

[andsorry]

When I got bad grades in school my mother called me stupid. Just the other day a girl told her boyfriend I was fat. My aunt also told me I'm fat. I wear a small top/ medium bottom. When my nails are long people make jokes about me braking a nail. Some people carry on conversations on how I wash my privates. They are a lot of judgmental people out there. I classified their comments as either jealousy or projecting their flaws on me.

 

[PugofCrydee]

Perhaps you could point out some of her flaws next time.
No one is perfect.
Maybe all you need to say is 'how do I be perfect and flawless like you mum?'

 

[BlueDays]

Perhaps you could point out some of her flaws next time.
No one is perfect.
Maybe all you need to say is 'how do I be perfect and flawless like you mum?'

^ I agree with this. Point out some of her flaws (everyone has flaws) that she could work on, right back at her as soon as she comments on a flaw of yours. Then she can see how it feels to have someone criticize a person about something in a rude way in the presence of other people as she does to you.

If she was truly concerned about your health she would pick a quiet time alone with you to calmly discuss it with you, not criticise you in front of your friends and other family members. :thumbdown: