I want to give my opinion here, but i don't wanna seem like the "wise man".
anyway, you're stuck in a situation that i experienced, and many others here have experienced too.
personally, i managed to deal with it, and i can assure u, my environment is very cool with me right now.
my advice: 1- leaving your home will only complicate your problems, making you more depressed, and lower your self esteem more, but 2- tolerating all that is self destructive, 3- maybe your family doesn't understand you, in other words; if you SA, try to explain to them your problem, and why you are behaving the way you do, from my experience, most problems happens because of lack of communication, so communicate for god's sake, 4- you seem to be in clinical depression, and this is not bad news, depression results from a lack of chemicals in the brain, if you get the chemical, you're done, so a simple bill will elevate your mood significantly, and you'd be much more happier, but before you do that, see a doctor, and change your miserable life.
