My Mind

[Tempus35]

My mind has to be one of the most confusing places ever. I want to be social but at the same time I fear it. I want to my more outgoing, yet at the same time I don't. I want attention of others but hide also. Everything throws me off, someone doesn't say hi that I sort of know, now I am in a funk for hours.

Its no wonder I seem to slowly becoming more insane as the years pass.

I just thought I would share that. I have been reading many articles again on things like ostracism, etc, and it made me rethink for a while.

 

[Phoenixx]

I don't think you're going insane. Actually I think feeling like this may be quite normal for those with SA. I know exactly how you feel. I too sometimes want attention, yet I just hide instead, because it's "safe". Of course I want to be like my old self again and just be social and outgoing, but I just fear it completely.

 

[emerald_star733]

I can totally relate too.

 

[Tempus35]

I don't think you're going insane. Actually I think feeling like this may be quite normal for those with SA. I know exactly how you feel. I too sometimes want attention, yet I just hide instead, because it's "safe". Of course I want to be like my old self again and just be social and outgoing, but I just fear it completely.

Hmm I wish I knew what "my old self" was, I can't remember my life before well, I was 12-13 when I got SA and depression.

 

[thewiz]

I was just thinking about this..but maybe this isn't exactly what you were thinking about.

I want to be outgoing but if it was up to me (without any societal pressure), I'd be quiet. I am obsessed with wanting to be remembered, I want to leave an impression on people. But I just can't. There's really nothing I can do while being quiet that I will be remembered for. Accepting who I am will only lead to being quiet when I obviously would like to be outgoing.

I've been going crazy for years thinking about this crap, always wondering if others did so too. As much as I want to think they do, probably not.