Do you have some other relative who can speak on your behalf and stand up to your mom for you? Is there somebody who knows how to be firm with her that she's more likely to listen to?
Basically, the only other person in my life is my step-brother. He's almost 40 now. He lives half the country away now. My father basically raised him as his own son, and he and I had been close until he moved away to start a family of his own. He finally got tired of all of my mom's berating and removed her from his life for about a year. He wouldn't answer her calls. He only recently got in contact with her again to supposedly make amends, and then all of this happened. He may be able to get through to her, but I sincerely doubt it.
I know I'm bit late to the discussion, but I can also relate. My dad is the main breadwinner of the family. If he were suddenly gone one day, we'd be in big trouble. After we use up whatever money we have, we'd be impoverished.
I'm also agoraphobic (in addition to having SA and other stuff), around the same age, but haven't accomplished much with my life mostly due to setbacks. I've moved around a lot, finally moving back in with my parents, and jobless. But, starting around the winter of 2012, I decided to pick myself back up and do something about it. Getting a job these days is pretty tough, especially if you don't have a college degree or work experience. You might want to look into volunteering first, enrolling in community college, taking free courses online, and slowly work your way up. Take it at your own pace, don't let your mom or anyone else pressure you into instant changes. I also recommend exploring spirituality especially mindfulness for personal growth.
Good luck!
I had begun to take classes through an online college (which my mom also pressured me into doing, it was definitely not my decision) but I stopped because I realized I was not ever going to pursue it further, and it was just bringing me more hardship than I needed to have at the time. She fought me on this but eventually got over it. Now that my dad isn't here anymore, maybe I should reconsider.
I honestly have felt this way my whole life, I've never had any motivation. I've been living in this perfect world with just my dad and I, and now with my dad gone, I feel as if I have even less motivation and no desire to keep on going. I just want to curl up in my bed and stay there forever.
My dad and I were alike in that way. The only human interaction he'd have since his retirement 7 years ago was when it was absolutely necessary, and of course with me. We liked being alone, when it was just us. Now it's just lonely...
My dad died from a ruptured brain aneurysm which he apparently had his entire life and never knew about. He didn't even want me to call 911, that's how stubborn he was. He hated being around people but he hated hospitals even more. I've read a lot of stories about the devastating effects of brain aneurysm ruptures and all the lasting effects they can have to a person. He isn't here anymore, but I like to think he lived a happy life. It does make me feel a bit better than my dad isn't going to have to suffer from any neurological problems and can be actually be at peace.
It's only been 2 weeks without him, and I've wanted to give up on myself so many times so I could be with him again, but I know if I did that he'd never forgive me. I know he wants me to be happy, and what has always made me happy is being a shut-in recluse... yet my mom wants me to be a actual member of society. I won't let her make me do anything I'm not comfortable in doing.
