thoughts
Active member
after a year of fighting its finaly starting to go away here is my update but before i tell you how im doing for those who dont remember me here is what i posted
ill start this off by saying this is my first time to do this online. i have a rare OCD disorder that's a little dangerous to myself and those around me. iv seen five doctors so far to see if they could help me and so far they have all made it worse or did nothing to it. i have been thro thousands of dollors in meds and appointments all for nothing i have almost been forced to live in a sycotic ward even but was dismissed at the last second thanks to my parents. due to what i have it has all so made me in to an insomniac because it scares me in to not sleeping at nights. this is what i have. at any given moment at any given time during the day i will have a sudden urge to kill anyone and everyone around me it doesn't matter if i know them or not family friend or stranger who ever is closest to me at the time of the thoughts but not just kill them but to do it in a way that it would make them suffer and after they die i want to eat them. i have these thoughts 2 to 6 times a day. sadly the thought have been getting stronger and happening more times a day and they last longer now. and i find my self to start playing with the thing i want to kill the person with. i cant sleep at nights because i have nightmares every night about killing people hunting them down and then eating them when there alive. i scream allot during my sleep the rare times that i do sleep i sleep every other night for 2 hrs I'm to scared to sleep anymore. i don't know what to do anymore i cant seem to cure these on my own can someone please help me or is someone out there like me? I'm 19 years old and I'm in collage. ps sorry for spelling and grammer there not my strong points im begging for help plz someone any lil tip would help somthing nothing is to small at this point i need help badly
like i said its a year later im doing alot better now, the urges and most of the nightmears have left. however the thoughts are still there not as strong tho but i still think about how can i kill this person how could i rip them apart. the best news tho is that im NOT playing with the thing that i want to kill with at all anymore. tho the insomia is still there i still rarly sleep but iv learned to cope with it i sleep 4 hours a night now so thats good and i dont think bout eating anyone anymore eather. just thought i would stop by and let everyone know im not sycotic anymore, becouse last time i was here a few people wanted me to be locked up forever....just wanted to say even the worse of people can change
ill start this off by saying this is my first time to do this online. i have a rare OCD disorder that's a little dangerous to myself and those around me. iv seen five doctors so far to see if they could help me and so far they have all made it worse or did nothing to it. i have been thro thousands of dollors in meds and appointments all for nothing i have almost been forced to live in a sycotic ward even but was dismissed at the last second thanks to my parents. due to what i have it has all so made me in to an insomniac because it scares me in to not sleeping at nights. this is what i have. at any given moment at any given time during the day i will have a sudden urge to kill anyone and everyone around me it doesn't matter if i know them or not family friend or stranger who ever is closest to me at the time of the thoughts but not just kill them but to do it in a way that it would make them suffer and after they die i want to eat them. i have these thoughts 2 to 6 times a day. sadly the thought have been getting stronger and happening more times a day and they last longer now. and i find my self to start playing with the thing i want to kill the person with. i cant sleep at nights because i have nightmares every night about killing people hunting them down and then eating them when there alive. i scream allot during my sleep the rare times that i do sleep i sleep every other night for 2 hrs I'm to scared to sleep anymore. i don't know what to do anymore i cant seem to cure these on my own can someone please help me or is someone out there like me? I'm 19 years old and I'm in collage. ps sorry for spelling and grammer there not my strong points im begging for help plz someone any lil tip would help somthing nothing is to small at this point i need help badly
like i said its a year later im doing alot better now, the urges and most of the nightmears have left. however the thoughts are still there not as strong tho but i still think about how can i kill this person how could i rip them apart. the best news tho is that im NOT playing with the thing that i want to kill with at all anymore. tho the insomia is still there i still rarly sleep but iv learned to cope with it i sleep 4 hours a night now so thats good and i dont think bout eating anyone anymore eather. just thought i would stop by and let everyone know im not sycotic anymore, becouse last time i was here a few people wanted me to be locked up forever....just wanted to say even the worse of people can change
