CHAKRAPOINT
Well-known member
SA has made people think that im stuck up because i tend to not interact in class like the rest of the students so they think that that im just very self centered and that i think that im better than they are or something which i can see why they would think that because i tend to project a face of everything is all good but i think that it manifests on my face as sumthing different,as if i think im the best which is not true its just me faking it cause my relaxed face when people are around luks like im really insecure and frightened so i squint in order to make everything luk like im really relaxed to hide my frightened eyes.
-SA also makes me people misunderstand me in the sense where when im in a situation where i know everyone is watching my every move directly or indirectly i then become so nervous of thinking how i am doing things or how my face looks like that my body movements just show that im uncomfortable,for example,i was in a group of guys and girls and a gay guy came up to me as i tend to be the one with the looks and starting trying his luck on me,my social skills are already bad and i just stand there quiet now when the gay guy came i became super nervous as i knew he would draw attention to me which i always try to avoid and he kept talking and i didnt know what to say and i knew my facial expression was showin that i was nervous ,so i just kept quiet and the guy left me saying that i was quiet because i was intimidated by him because i must be hiding something or my fellings for him which wasnt true its just that all that attention that i didnt know how to handle made me not think about what to say next and look relaxed b as i was looking at the other people and could see that they saw iwas uncomfortable which made me even more uncomfortable as now if i tried to look relaxed they would think "oh now he is just trying to hide his feelings for the guy,he must be in the closet"
-another experience is with kids,my parents had friends over who had a small girl with them who was very talkative,it was me my mom,brother and sister in tv room and when the kid came in she automatically came to me to pick her up as im the biggest in the family which brings too much attention than i can handle,so in those split seconds i was analyzing the situation thinking if i dont pick her my family would think im mean and wont be a good uncle and i knew if i did pick her and put her in my lap i would act awkward which turned out to be true because i did pick her up.now i started to move around funny as i knew my family was watching my every movement even thogh their eyes were on the tv.the kid then mentioned that i was not holding her nicely and i knew i wasnt not because i intended to but becuase i was too busy analysing my familys expression to me having the kid as was the center of attention and i started to get nervous thinking that they may think that i have hidden tendancies towards children or something like a paedophile but thats not true,its just that being the center of attention i freeze up and if it was just me and the kid i know i would be very relaxed as i know there isnt anyone judging my every move.
when kids are around i am forced to interact with them,i freeze up because they will bring attention to me to talk which i usually dont talk.my personality is kind of monotonous and plain and when im forced to act all sensitive and kiddish i just cant pull it out of me which manifests itself as me being very uncomfortable around them and the adults around me and i get super anxious as i know they can see that ive tensed up around the kids and them.now i can that my family looks at me different when im with kids after that incident.
another incident where iwas misunderstood is when i was hanging with some guys and i was on the edge,now one of the guys invited a bunch of girls to come hang so they did and i ended up being the guy sitting next to all the girls on my right and my "friends" on the the left.as soon as that happend i knew iwas expected to do something and interact with the girls but i just sat there quiet as usually what i also do with my friends.since i knew i was the center of attention i started to act fuuny again and moved around weirdly and knew that all my friends on my left saw this and the girls on my right,i was like the center of communication between the two now my friends see that i cant talk with girls and think that the reason i stay at home all day and cant talk with girls nor them is that im gay or something which ticks me off cause i know all these things arent true
-another incident that i was misu
-SA also makes me people misunderstand me in the sense where when im in a situation where i know everyone is watching my every move directly or indirectly i then become so nervous of thinking how i am doing things or how my face looks like that my body movements just show that im uncomfortable,for example,i was in a group of guys and girls and a gay guy came up to me as i tend to be the one with the looks and starting trying his luck on me,my social skills are already bad and i just stand there quiet now when the gay guy came i became super nervous as i knew he would draw attention to me which i always try to avoid and he kept talking and i didnt know what to say and i knew my facial expression was showin that i was nervous ,so i just kept quiet and the guy left me saying that i was quiet because i was intimidated by him because i must be hiding something or my fellings for him which wasnt true its just that all that attention that i didnt know how to handle made me not think about what to say next and look relaxed b as i was looking at the other people and could see that they saw iwas uncomfortable which made me even more uncomfortable as now if i tried to look relaxed they would think "oh now he is just trying to hide his feelings for the guy,he must be in the closet"
-another experience is with kids,my parents had friends over who had a small girl with them who was very talkative,it was me my mom,brother and sister in tv room and when the kid came in she automatically came to me to pick her up as im the biggest in the family which brings too much attention than i can handle,so in those split seconds i was analyzing the situation thinking if i dont pick her my family would think im mean and wont be a good uncle and i knew if i did pick her and put her in my lap i would act awkward which turned out to be true because i did pick her up.now i started to move around funny as i knew my family was watching my every movement even thogh their eyes were on the tv.the kid then mentioned that i was not holding her nicely and i knew i wasnt not because i intended to but becuase i was too busy analysing my familys expression to me having the kid as was the center of attention and i started to get nervous thinking that they may think that i have hidden tendancies towards children or something like a paedophile but thats not true,its just that being the center of attention i freeze up and if it was just me and the kid i know i would be very relaxed as i know there isnt anyone judging my every move.
when kids are around i am forced to interact with them,i freeze up because they will bring attention to me to talk which i usually dont talk.my personality is kind of monotonous and plain and when im forced to act all sensitive and kiddish i just cant pull it out of me which manifests itself as me being very uncomfortable around them and the adults around me and i get super anxious as i know they can see that ive tensed up around the kids and them.now i can that my family looks at me different when im with kids after that incident.
another incident where iwas misunderstood is when i was hanging with some guys and i was on the edge,now one of the guys invited a bunch of girls to come hang so they did and i ended up being the guy sitting next to all the girls on my right and my "friends" on the the left.as soon as that happend i knew iwas expected to do something and interact with the girls but i just sat there quiet as usually what i also do with my friends.since i knew i was the center of attention i started to act fuuny again and moved around weirdly and knew that all my friends on my left saw this and the girls on my right,i was like the center of communication between the two now my friends see that i cant talk with girls and think that the reason i stay at home all day and cant talk with girls nor them is that im gay or something which ticks me off cause i know all these things arent true
-another incident that i was misu